New Year's Eve fun..

  We don't do a ton for New Year's Eve but we do have a "little party" here..just us. Kaya helped me make the cheese roll ups, the bacon wrapped sandwiches (our fave but not Steve's lol due to it having mushroom soup in it!),homemade sherbet punch and Mexican cheese dip. We had chips to go with it and regular dip so it was pretty much just snacking whenever we wanted all evening. 
   Kaya LOVED it and I gained big points by having pink noise makers and party cups ;) She sat all the plates/cups etc out on the counter and made "menus" for us ;) She drew Mother Nature holding Baby New Year's hand. It was cute. She of course donned her pink dress and was doubly excited when I told her I picked up a pkg of pink cardboard tiaras! Poor Bella, our dog, even had to wear one! LOL
   Steve of course was not so much in the party mood. He had ALOT of dental work done on Monday evening. They pulled a lower jaw tooth on the left, filled a jaw tooth on the left, pulled a jaw tooth on the bottom right and put collagen plugs into both the holes where they pulled teeth!! Dr M said he did awesome and the stitching was more to hold the plugs in while it healed but that he would be sore. And he is! Poor guy. I made him mash potatoes this evening and he had that along with pudding. I'm thankful my Mom switched her days off and gave up her rare Saturday off to be home with Kaya on Tuesday. I didn't have to miss work and Steve could just rest/not chase after Kaya.
  Kaya was determined to see the New Year in ...but didn't make it ;) At 11:45 she was snuggled up with her stuffed sea turtle in the chair...out cold snoozing LOL Tucked her into bed after the ball dropped and I followed soon after.
   2013 was not a perfect year. We had our moments, our hard times, our lean times but it was 365 days of being together, waking up every morning, love, kindness and laughs. I'm very thankful that we had more positives than negatives, that we faced the year as a team, and that I had my little family and the ones I love in my life! We saw babies born, loved ones pass on, my brother move to Cali to start a new adventure. We saw some medical issues, dealt with some hard situations and we've made some hard decisions. But we did every step of the way TOGETHER :)

Christmas Day at the Hacienda...and family

  Every year as a child my Mom would make cinnamon rolls for Cmas morning breakfast. I continue this tradition with Kaya and today was no different. As soon as we did gifts, the rolls were in the oven and going .
  Kaya fought hard going to sleep last night. She was exhausted and cranky and finally gave it up about 11:30 and went to bed! I dozed off only to be woke up at almost 1 to help finish up some odd n ends and make sure the gifts were all under the tree. Needless to say when Kaya bounded out of bed at 6:30 I was already up ..but Daddy was a bit slower moving lol
  Her face was PRICELESS when she saw the tree, the gifts and her stocking. The fact that Santa remembered treats for her tortoise and for her dog ;) was an added bonus. She opened her gift from "santa" first...it was her purple wooden acoustic guitar she had asked for. Talk about excited and then lecturing everyone to not break it, not twist the dials at the top etc. Next came her gift shipped from Uncle J...her new Furby Boom. Oh my! Kaya about spazzed out when she opened it! She was in amazement that her uncle knew what she wanted ;). Kaya got gifts she had never thought of..new Monster High headphones for use with the ipad etc, monster high shower set for her dolls,and of course her Flappies or whatever it's called hat lol She's a very blessed little girl!
  After all the gift opening we had cinnamon rolls and relaxed for a bit. Mixed up some biscuits and got them in a pan ready to go to my Uncles.
   After dropping my Dad off we headed to my Mom's family for a huge meal and get together. We originally had planned no gifts but my Uncle being my Uncle lol decided to give a 20 dollar bill to each one of his great nieces and nephews! They were a happy bunch. My cousin also got each kid a stocking filled with oranges (;) and little things. Kaya was on cloud nine.
   The meal was awesome...turkey,ham, duck and all the fixings as well as dessert. We were all miserable.
   This year my cousin set up a table for the kids to do crafts and they had a ball!! They each made a Cmas tree complete with ornaments etc. It was nice to see all the kids having fun together.
   Headed home later in the afternoon, had to go through water to get home thanks to all the rain and the river/creeks coming back out!!! and decided to spend the rest of the day relaxing and letting Kaya play with her new toys. Kaya got a surprise visit from her aunt and two cousins to drop off her gifts from her other grandpa and some play time.
  Cmas day went great and everyone had a blast! Thankful for family time, for all the smiles and giggles from Kaya, and for an evening of relaxing together. I think the pics below speak well of our last two days :)

Cmas eve

Cmas Morning

Cmas afternoon

Christmas Eve at the Hacienda

  Lucky me (note the sarcasm) had to work till 4pm today. I've not stressed at all all holiday season long but was beginning to worry if I could pull off supper on the table at 5ish! Walked in the door at 4:15 to see my hubby deep frying the turkey with my Dad helping and Eth and Em :) My mom in law bought a sliced ham, my Mom got to work peeling potatoes (the one thing I do NOT like to do lol) and Em made the biscuits while I did the sides etc. Everything came together smoothly..with lots of laughs ...and we sat down to eat our feast at 5:30ish. We had deep fried Creole/Cajun turkey, half the ham cold/half the ham baked with a bit of Coke poured over it, mash potatoes, baked beans, green bean casserole (I hate it lol but I always make it for everyone else that does like it),biscuits, coleslaw,and mac n cheese. Not too bad of a spread considering everything was homemade but the mac n cheese :) 
   Everyone had a great meal and then we did gifts. I think the best gift moments were when Kaya opened her doll from my Dad  and screamed so loud the neighbors probably heard!! She told Ethan "I've been wanting this my whole entire life. My whole life!" ;) The other one was when Em realized her book was...the family history book she had been wanting. Her face lit up and she dove right into it. We all got several nice things and I'm very happy to get a new sewing machine from my mother in law. I normally sew by hand but I've been wanting to do more projects and I think I'll like it :) 
   I really think the best "moment" for the whole evening was just us being together. The meal was great, the gifts were fun and well liked..but the company was AWESOME. This is the first Cmas eve since my Granny has died that I felt...right. I know that may sound funny but the first year she was gone I missed her so much it was insane. The second year it was chaos and drama and tears were too often. This year..things just feel into place, the moments were right and peaceful. I know many cannot say it but this year we had no stress, no pressure, no worries and a perfect Cmas eve. 
   I can say my best gift was having my kiddos under one roof for awhile. Em is 16, Eth is 18 and technically not babies anymore but they will always be my babies. I've never NOT had Cmas eve with them and seeing them together with Kaya...made my evening. Very thankful too that my mil felt well enough to come and join the fun. That my Dad could get out from behind high water to share in the time and to spend the night. Kaya was on cloud nine that Pappaw was going to spend the night :) That I had my Mom, my husband and my kiddo. The only thing missing was my brother but we got to talk for 3 hrs yesterday and I'm thankful for that. I miss him so much it's nuts but I'm so very proud of him :) Kaya of course had no idea how her Uncle knew she wanted a Furby Boom ;)
  Wonderful Cmas eve and if Kaya will finally give in and go to sleep...Santa can visit for in the morning ;)

Family Traditions

   I love listening to people talk about their family traditions for things, especially the holidays. I think it's interesting how each family has their little thing, whether it's Midnight Mass, big meals, a certain decoration, that makes their holiday.
   Some families have no traditions or buck the sense of tradition and if that makes them happy that fine. But to me, tradition isn't holding onto something outdated or failure to create your own...it's holding onto the life that created you and you flex it in with your own new family traditions..and it makes your family "yours"!
    Growing up we always had oranges and peanuts in our stockings. Back then money was tight on Mom and Dad and oranges and peanuts wasn't too expensive, we all ate them and it was easy filler for a stocking. I just thought every house did that (all my cousins got the same thing lol) until I got older and kids talked about expensive items in their stockings...and I thought that was so weird lol So every year we put an orange in Kaya's stocking. She gets a few little things in there she wants (this year a puzzle, candy, a stuffed animal) but nothing huge. The orange to me back then was just normal things and now it keeps me attached to my roots. It's simplicity, it's teaching Kaya that she won't get everything she wants and it passes on a tradition of appreciation. Matter of fact this year she even asked for an orange ;)
    We always hiked out to the woods with my parents to find the right tree. Then we'd laugh as Dad had to pin that Charlie Brown tree to the wall lol EVERY year ;) My brother and I would sit for hours making paper chains, stringing popcorn. It was our garland and decorations back in the day and now it's crafts we do with Kaya. 
   I grew up with huge family meals for Cmas eve and Cmas day. I can still see the dusty farm hats lined up on the back of the couch as we sat down to eat. Us kids eating as fast as we could to get back outside. Excitedly opening gifts of coveralls, winter socks, new gloves..and being just as happy as if it was a huge electronic gift now! We rarely got frivolous items and back then we needed the things we got. 
   Now having my own family I have some of my own traditions. I still carry on the orange thing and I make a pan of cinnamon rolls every Cmas morning and Thanksgiving morning just like my Mamma did ;) for us but we do a few things differently. At first it was hard on me...we just "always" did things that way and it was never an issue on family events etc because we lived on Grandpa W's farm and our neighbors the next ridge over was Grandpa R's farm!!! So family was just THERE. 
   So now we don't trek out in the woods, yet lol, for our tree but I can see that same excited glow from Kaya's eyes, much like mine as a child, when we light up our tree. Special ornaments hang on there just like ours did when we were little. We still laugh and have fun doing it and we do crafts with Kaya all season, all year long! Our meals have changed a bit as for the last two years we've done Cmas eve at home with the passing of Granny...but I know my grandparents are sitting up there in Heaven smiling at the nutty brood they helped create. We get together Cmas day with my Mom's family and now the farm is my Uncle's. We still have the huge meal. We look around the table and see the blessings my grandparents started way back in the day..and we smile at the blessings we still have. 
   We pass on our traditions, our laughter and our love, to the next generation as they play and eat together.
  Steve's family just started this year having Thanksgiving together and it was awesome! I hope it will continue. We normally have Cmas with his mother's side in Dec before the actual holiday but it was understandably different this year but I always enjoying being with them for the holiday too. I'm thankful for everyone that makes memories with Kaya and shares their life with us! 
  I think too many people fret that Cmas has to be "perfect", has to look like what you see on tv or in a magazine. There is no perfect Cmas and you can't fill it up with material items, stress and fretting. Every households Cmas if perfect for them and filling it with love, laughter and memories will make our own children's list of blessings much longer than their memories of what gifts they received ;)

Exactly

   Saw this post a few days back and I've been mulling it over since then. I immediately wanted to post it then I thought does it sound harsh, sound like I'm being pushy? Then I thought forget it I'm posting it. The ones it may apply to probably wouldn't see themselves in the post and I like the quote.
   The quote made me realize how I've held onto the thought that I was going to get an apology...that those two words.."I'm sorry"..was somehow the magic cure all and band aid to the situations that have occurred. Somehow my mind formulated that if they said they were sorry all would be well. But my brain was saying "No, you'd never take it as serious anyway. You'd be fine till the next time it happens." and to be honest I've held out on alot of things over the last yearish and...it was time to...
       Think as if I had received an apology. It was time I gave myself the freedom to be over the deal, the permission to let my happiness and my little families happiness be the center of my life..not that feeling that I wasn't doing something right, that feeling of being judged or honestly just flat out ignored.
   Mom always says that those that wrong you unless they truly are sorry and know their behavior is wrong..won't apologize so why stew over it. Steve had told me to just let it go, live our life and others can find their own path. That what they consider normal isn't our normal and we won't change it.
  So I like the quote and I think I'm going to just live life that way.

Amazing how...

  Amazing how one small picture can bring back such a flood of memories. While making a book for my cousin for Cmas I have been going through pictures. This one where we made biscuits was on there. Looking at the picture I could feel myself choking back tears..but I could also feel myself smiling.
   That simple little metal biscuit cutter with the worn out red handle was my Granny's. In the 33 yrs that I got to be her sidekick I never saw her ever use any other cutter..and that cutter had cut a LOT of biscuits lol 
    I'm almost certain Granny wore out that red handle twisting out biscuits for her family, her grandkids and eventually her great grandkids. When she passed my cousin found it in her drawer in the kitchen and said that she knew I should have it :)
   I remember standing on a stool at the counter in the kitchen or sitting in the chair at the table and helping Granny knead out dough, talking and laughing, flour everywhere. When she was done she'd always run her finger down the seam of the table to get the flour out. It was the funniest thing to get to help Granny and as an adult it was a privilege to get to make "her" biscuits on a Sunday afternoon or a Saturday morning. If we had a snow day..it was homemade biscuits lol
    Now it's the third generation biscuit maker ;) holding that cutter...Kaya. It's fun to be able to tell her the story that goes with the item in her hand. She'll ask "Is this how Nanny did it Mamma?" :) 
    When people worry about what to live their kids in their will and all that jazz it's often the small little things that are overlooked. I didn't get money, I didn't get too much at all..but I got a biscuit cutter and a small wooden recipe box with a broken hinge on one side. Both hold more memories and mean more to me than any amount of money. I don't often get in the box for recipes...I've fixed them so many times I've got them memorized..but the little box sits on my kitchen shelf. Inside is recipes with flour thumb prints from Granny, wrote in her perfect sloping handwriting. Newspaper articles or recipes that sparked her interest. My biscuit cutter is in my kitchen drawer and used alot. 
    I can say that little box and that worn out metal cutter holds more memories to me than any thing I could have got. :)
    As an adult you look back and realize just how lucky and blessed you were and how blessed you still are. In one way Granny lives on because Kaya is really a good bread/biscuit maker :)
   

My nutty husband

   For someone reason it sparked Steve this evening that we should make homemade popcorn balls. We've never made them before but have an easy recipe. Mind you the man decided that since I was off on Tuesday then we should just do them now..at 10:00 at night! LOL Thankfully I'm off tomorrow and I have a good sense of humor lol
   For our first attempt we didn't do too bad but I can say that we let it cool a bit too much before trying to shape them so we ended up with some popcorn balls and some...popcorn scatter LOL But it tasted fairly good.
  
 

Our popcorn ball..mess lol
I also found to never assume that the sugar/syrup mix is cool at the bottom simply cause it's cool at the top!! Thankfully no burns but it hurt!

But we had a few good laughs, got to spend time together and try out a new recipe. The joys of life are sometimes the small ones you don't think about :)

Crafts for Christmas

 

  Gathered up all the ingredients for Snowman Soup and one curly  headed girl for assistance and made Snowman Soup bags :) We used instant hot chocolate packets, marshmallows for the snowballs, chocolate chips for the snowman kisses (Kaya said it was coal lol) and put them all in baggies. We then printed out our labels complete with Snowman Soup poem and used a hole punch to make the hole, slid the ribbon through the hole/label hole and attached a candy cane :) We decided to also add something special.

 With my adorable assistant we dipped leftover spoons from her bday party (they had never been used lol to clarify that lol) into melted almond bark (chocolate) and let dry. Then we redipped them for a good coating. We wrapped them in plastic wrap and tied them with the ribbon to the package. When they stir their hot chocolate the chocolate on the spoon will melt too ;)

 Our finished product! Love how they came out!! Kaya was super impressed and even more excited because I "accidently" ;) made an extra dipped spoon for her :)  Giving these to the dental office staff, the mail lady and to round out some other homemade gifts :) 

  I loved the simplicity of the project, getting to work with Kaya and the fact that sometimes after a long day a cup of cocoa is what someone needs!! I know many nights I do when it's cold. Also love that it teaches Kaya to give to others and to use her head and heart behind a gift not just money.

New recipe

  Gave a new biscuit recipe a try this evening. Steve thinks the ONLY bread you can have with a meal is biscuits. They have to be Grands or homemade lol  He despises dinner rolls and thinks crescents are a joke (he's a funny funny man) so I keep freezer biscuits in the freezer for quick use and usually have a can of the store bought ones in the fridge. But fixed supper this evening and thought I'd give this recipe a try.
   Preheat oven to 425. In a 9x13 cake pan pour 1/2 cup of melted butter. It will stand in the pan and that's fine. In a bowl mix 4 cups of Bisquick (I used the generic version), 1 cup of sour cream, and 1 cup of 7 up. Mix together then knead the dough on a floured surface. Pat your dough out and use a biscuit cutter * cut out round biscuits and arrange in the pan. Mine touched and did fine. Matter of fact the frugal side of me (Thanks Granny lol) I even made odd sized biscuits and worked them into the edge spaces! LOL Bake at 425 for 12 to 15 minutes or until browned on top. I then sprayed them with spray butter lightly as soon as they came out of the oven!
   At first I was worried about all that butter in the pan and the turnout being soggy biscuits. Good grief no!! They were done, moist and honestly like KFC's biscuits! Steve ate more of them than he did anything ..he ate so many I thought he was going to pop! And told me to save the recipe (!!!) SO I consider them a good hit. 
   I served mine with white beans, baked kielbasa, fried potatoes and onion slices. But they would go great with any meal. 
   * If you don't have a round cookie cutter or a biscuit cutter simply flour the mouth of a glass and cut them out. I can say I have a prized biscuit cutter..my Granny's...and it has seen a ton of biscuits over it's life time :) 

Christmas gift project

   My cousin has requested a family history book this year for Christmas. Not just dates and marriage records,she wants all that and the stories etc. At first I wasn't sure how I was going to tackle it but I've already got two sides of her Great grandma done and it's actually going well.
  I divided the book into four sections..her great grandma's mother's side and father side as two chapters and then her great grandfather's mom's side and Dad's side as the other two. The last chapter will be her great grandma and Grandpa's story together :) I'm adding pics of family to each section then at the end of the book I'm going to put a religion/tradition/recipe section to give it even more "family feel".
  To say I'm enjoying this project is an understatement!! I love that I have family history on one side all the way back to the old country and the crusades and I like the challenge of one side being American Indian (Native American) and trying to piece that together. I love showing Kaya the pictures and talking about family and stories.
  So I'm thankful my cousin asked for this project. I'm most thankful that she wants to hold onto the stories, the traditions and the recipes and pass them down to another generation! I am very big on things like that. Family history isn't merely numbers and dates..births and deaths..it's feelings and emotional attachment even if you don't "know" the person. It's carrying on stories that keep our family linage alive, their struggles and their successes. That dna that survived the ships to immigrate to the US, that dna that was already here and fought to keep off the reservation, that dna that survived the Depression, World Wars, those genetics that knew how it was to be Indian in a white world, a "mixed breed" in both worlds, rich white and poor white all trickle down to form who we are today. I would be nothing without the family that came before me..and my lineage will continue on with Kaya and any other children we may have one day.
  So the project is moving along well and I'm actually excited to see her face when she gets it :) 

Kaya's great great great grandpa on the farm on butchering day

 This is just one of MANY pictures that I have. They are one of my favorite things...I look at them and see alot of life back then. I'm also thankful to have the pictures because they humble me when I feel like "what next". These men and women worked ten times harder than most of us and still smiled :)
   
  I'm very thankful that I have pictures that go all the way back to Kaya's 5th great grandparents and one day she will have them. :)

We got...

Lots and lots of..snow!! By Friday evening we had 10 inches in the front yard and 11 to 12 inches in the side yard!! Not the best snow for making a snowman but on Saturday...
 We did lots of sledding between warming up breaks lol Kaya LOVES sledding and made multiple trips down the hill on her polar bear sled, trudged back to the top and zoomed down again! She was all smiles. Then Daddy got out the intertube and the fun was on!! The child zoomed down the hill, over the drainage ditch and into the front yard cackling like crazy!! We couldn't help but laugh at the faces she made! We of course had to make a few runs and then Kaya had to ride down on Daddy's lap.
  Love how she is an outdoor kid and her giggles when she came in. She told us "My thermals are sticking to my bottom!!!" and didn't waste anytime getting out of her wet clothes. 
  Love how she enjoys whatever life tosses at us and how she reminds us to find the fun no matter what :) :)

Sometimes you have to see the beauty

  I'm always amazed at how quickly people grumble and groan over winter. We know it's going to come and that we've been lucky to have some rather unseasonable weather lately..and few cold/heavy snow winters for a bit. I know it makes travel a little slower, some bodies ache a little more, and it makes me worry about people having a home or heat but.....
     We see and appreciate God's handiwork when the first bloom of spring opens. We are amazed at how fresh the rain smells, how green everything is. The rain gives way to the hot, dry days of summer and we are excited with outdoor activities and feel blessed to feel the sun. Come fall the days start getting shorter and cooler but we see the beauty in the multi colored leaves. We find positives by using our time hunting for pumpkins and having bonfires. Then winter rolls in and the first snow we start griping. But winter serves a purpose spiritually, soulfully and nature wise. How often do we just stop and see the beauty of the falling snow, how each individual snow flake falls, how the snow glitters when light hits it. How often do we enjoy the child like pleasure of seeing your breath in the air or making a snow angel.
   Yes winter can bring sickness but it can also bring a new way to see the same ole thing..and maybe test our true ability to see small blessings. Even small blessings in the things that seem hard.
   I know Steve hates the cold (always has but since his MS it stiffens up his muscles) but I love the first true, real snow. I love to see how the snow glitters in the light. The perfect stillness. The soft flakes falling. Biblically we know that the winter should be celebrated and has a reason. ( Ecclesiastes 3.1-8)
   

As I went out to feed our cat I was blessed to see the sun coming through the trees. How the snow made the sky even brighter. How lucky I was to have a few minutes of quiet, my glass of sweet tea and my sweeties (Steve and Kaya) snuggled in bed all nice and warm. I love sunrises..they remind me to count my blessings that I am alive to see a new day start..and that I have the chance to make a new day fun and exciting.

  This evening as we wrapped up sledding I got to see this sunset. Sunsets always remind me that even though I go to bed I have another new day tomorrow. Winter sun sets seem to pop. The snow begins to shadow and the sun starts easing down. Maybe winter was created to remind us how to keep rhythm in our day? We all tend to hurry about, overwork, over think and over worry. Maybe winter is a gentle reminder to take our time, to enjoy the small things and to pull our family closer?
    Today I was lucky to know my two lovelies got to sleep in snuggled under blankets in a warm home, I got to have my glass of tea in perfect stillness, I got to see the sun break through the trees, I got to enjoy the day sledding and laughing with two of my favorite people then this evening after watching the sunset I got to enjoy a mug of hot chocolate, fix supper and then make an apple crisp we all enjoyed. Maybe to some that sounds like dull blessings but I was blessed with the love of family, the ability to feed my family, good food, a warm home, a soft bed and nature to remind me to be thankful and happy. 
   Sounds like a wonderful day to me :)

Snow!!

 They predicted anywhere from 3 to 6 inches of snow. We definitely hit that mark plus some. By Friday evening spots in the front yard showed  91.2 inches, some 10 inches and a few on the side where it drifted nearly 12 inches of the lovely white stuff.
  Coming home from work Friday night was a bear. No lanes, not even on the main highway, completely rutted and slushed in some spots, solid ice in others. I had to use 4 wheel drive to pull the hill before our drive and then to ease into our drive. Our lovely driveway goes uphill, turns to the left then comes out on the side of a hill! Yeah fun when roads are nasty. After getting home, warming up for a bit Kaya begged for "one more time" in the snow. She had a ball. Steve said she had already been out 2 times before I got home from work. I got a call Friday morning at work saying "Mamma, it snoooooweed!! Daddy is going to bundle me up and we are going to go outside..after he makes a pot of hot chocolate!!" :) Made my day to hear her so excited.
  Saturday , today, has been no extra snow but frigid cold. Temp combined with clear skies, snow and a wind chill factor made it feel as if it was 0 to -4 later in the evening. We let Kaya go sledding before it got too cold and she had a ball. Didn't like that we only let her make a few trips today but even though she was bundled...hat, gloves, shirt, thermal shirt, zip up,coat, pants, thermal pants, undies and socks lol, it was still cold!
   

  All in all a fun day. Wrapped up the evening by fixing a homemade apple crisp. Our apple order came in this week and Kaya loves apples period. She asked that we have "banilla ice cream" on top lol so we did. Love the mix of crisp topping with the sweet apples and melty ice cream :)

Sad day

    Last night at 11:30 Mimi went home to Heaven. Hated to find that news out but thankful she was no longer suffering. Mimi was super active, on the go happy person. When they took off part of her foot she began to go down hill.
   Kaya got up when I got up this morning for work. She was standing in the doorway and told me "Mamma, I had a dream last night. In the dream someone I love very much died. I know it wasn't Pappaw cause I talked to him last night". I know I probably had my mouth open. So I told her that we would talk about it after work this evening. Kaya was fast asleep when we got word Mimi had passed and we decided to not tell her till after work this evening. So maybe Mimi came to her dreams to say goodbye..they were best buds :)
   Sat Kaya down this evening and explained to her that Mimi had passed. At first she was playing with her phone and not really catching what we were saying. We didn't push it just stated it and let it go. A few hours later Kaya crawled up in my lap and asked if Mimi passing away meant she was dead. We explained to her yes, she was. That she was now in Heaven..whole, healthy and happy. That she would watch over her and that she'd be a star like Nanny in the night sky. Hearing your kiddo cry that cry..is hard. You spend so much time keeping them safe, shielding them from hurt/danger...then life tosses you one that you cannot easily fix. It seems unfair at such a tender age to feel that hurt..but..then again how blessed was Mimi to have Kaya and Kaya to have Mimi? Those feelings will last long after the hurt.
  So we answered questions honestly. Even the odd off the wall ones (what happens to your tongue when you die). We explained in Heaven you get a new body with no aches or pains and you are happy. We told her it was up to her if she went to the funeral home for visitation. If she chose not to go we'd take her to the cemetery at a later date so she could put flowers on the grave.
  She had a few more tearful moments this evening but for the most part is doing ok. I told her that memories are always with you. That me and her Daddy have no grandparents left and that she is very lucky to have Mammaw W and Grandma T. That Mimi and Nanny are watching her and are happy. 
  She asked the hardest question..."How am I suppose to be happy that someone I loved is no longer alive?" How do we expect a child to understand when even as adults we have times we feel the same way. So we explained to her that you have to be happy that they no longer hurt and that they have found peace. That you can still feel them hug you at times and they are always in your heart.
  Those words seemed to answer her question so we have left it at that.

Long weekend of fun and some rough times

   Saturday after our Thanksgiving meal we received word that Mimi was not doing well at all. Mimi is Steve's aunt's mother in law but she is more like a grandma to us. We go almost every Saturday to the nursing home to see her and we take her special things...homemade chicken n dumplings, candy whatever she'd like. Kaya has always adored her but when her Nanny passed away they became very tight. So when we heard they were calling the family in Sat evening and asking them not to leave much we decided to pass our blessings on. We fixed Aunt and Uncle a plate heaping with food, a baggie of rolls and headed to the nursing home.
  Mimi had went comatose Saturday afternoon. She wasn't drinking or eating and had asked that no life support/ivs be used. It was very hard seeing Mimi just sleeping. Kaya still didn't feel great so we sat for a bit then headed home.
  Sunday we decided to make Christmas cookies. Steve is the best cookie maker and I've yet to ever taste a bad cookie (minus the ones that were made with old baking soda lol) he's made. Kaya asked if her Grandma T could come help so we called her up, pulled out the mixing bowl, ingredients, cutters, icing, decorations and whipped up some tasty homemade sugar cookies. Kaya was a little amazed that Grandma T had never made them so she "taught her how to do it". It was fun. 
  Kaya tossing the dough ball from one hand to the other. Steve does this to prep the dough. Kaya rolled the dough out carefully with her rolling pin. Steve says the key is uniform cookies and no thin edges.  

Kaya cut out designs. She did stockings, Cmas trees and snowmen. She did a pretty good job. 
  Then she decorated them with either white, red or green icing. I buy up on cookie/cake decorations after the holidays (sprinkles etc go to 50% or more off!!) so she had plenty of choices for her cookies.  We also did a few with just chocolate mint baking chips.

Her cookies came out very cute. Grandma T got a good lesson lol and had a great time as well. We decided to take a pan to the nursing staff at the nursing home and a pan to Steve's family that was sitting at the nursing home so they would have snacks. Both groups greatly appreciated them. We sat for over an hour with the family. Mimi was not looking any better. Kaya had made her a picture so she "showed" it to Mimi and sat by her bed talking to her. Very hard on our hearts. She had asked that we "not let Mimi leave because I won't have a Mimi or a Nanny!" So very hard indeed. 

  Once home we explained to Kaya what was going on and answered her questions. I don't want to see Mimi suffer but it's so hard to let the ones we love go.

Thanksgiving

   Due to work obligations our Thanksgiving took place on Saturday. At first it sort of bothered me being that it was on Saturday but then I thought you know what..holidays are honestly in your heart not regulated by a calendar day!! We've done Thanksgiving in August and Cmas in Oct due to my brother's military schedule so I thought I'm just going with the flow :) So as tradition our day started off with awesome cinnamon rolls. My mother always fixed these on Thanksgiving morning for us and I continue that tradition with my kiddo :)

  Our meal was awesome. Even though my mother in law (who donated the turkey as her part of the dinner) managed to find a 3 legged turkey!! LOL Only at the Hacienda do you have Steve start carving his awesome Cajun deep fried turkey to see...another leg. We all laughed about it.
  Kaya was a huge help this year. She completely made the pumpkin pies. She's getting so good at breaking eggs and mixing much SLOWER so it doesn't slop out of the bowl. Her pies were beautiful and delicious. 

Kaya also helped this year fix dressing with her Mammaw W. There is NOONE that makes a better dressing than my Mamma lol Bread, sage, chicken broth, boiled meat from the giblets/neck of the turkey all come together to make one of my fave sides! Kaya also helped with the green bean (or as we all call it slimy bean casserole lol) casserole that her grandma's like and with the sweet potatoes. Our meal came out pretty awesome this year.

 We had cajun deep fried turkey, sweet potatoes,baked beans, deviled eggs, green bean casserole, mash potatoes,turkey gravy, mac n cheese, rolls/biscuits, pumpkin pie and cheesecake. Every bit of it homemade :) Everyone at way too much. But the most important thing about the meal wasn't the food on the table, how long it took to fix or if it was homemade...it was the people sitting around the table and the love <3

Cajun, creole butter injected turkey ready for the fryer 

Our feast :) 

Kaya making homemade dressing with her Mammaw

Gotta love croup :(

 Gave Kaya breathing treatments but knew that the cough was hanging on too long, too tight. Yep, time for our yearly round of croup. Interestingly enough adults actually can get croup we just don't realize it. We get a cold, then the cough hangs on and it's tight and we have a form of croup. Which I had been coughing the week prior so that is probably what started Kaya with the cold. 
   Finally nailed an appt from her Dr (not liking this office combined situation...love our dr, love her nursing staff, love the office staff..hate the appt schedule etc) at the after hours clinic and got the diagnosis:
  "Yes Miss Kaya, you have your yearly croup."
   So off to the store to pick up her steroid (yeah..makes her cry one minute, very cranky the next) that she has to take for 3 days. Already have her machine and meds for it. 
  She is feeling better and able to play but it took what feels forever for her cough to lighten up. Nothing is worse than that deep cough in the middle of the night. I think we all crashed last night from simply no sleep!!

Project in the works :)

   We have been simplifying lots of areas of our life and one thing we have been focusing on is better use of our land/gardens and home. This project is going to focus on my utility room.
  It's a nice utility room but the design sort of wasted space. I have been wanting a pantry forever and we debated hard on doing one in the garage simply because of the chance of moisture etc. So the other night Steve was getting something out of the utility room and said 
  "Why don't we make this into our walk in pantry? We can still keep the left side as the utility room...washer, dryer and such. But if we take out the cabinet on the right side I could build you a pantry?"
  The man knows the words to get to my heart lmbo 
  We really don't use the cabinet/counter in the utility room that much. It's got more hodge podge stuff stored in it than useful things and I rarely use the counter to fold clothes etc. I would get alot more use out of a pantry.
  So Steve has designed the plans. We will remove the counter/cabinet and it'll go to the garage to be used for a work bench (which we need). I'll paint where the counter was the same color of cabin red to match that wall. Then he will build a 2ft wide 7ft high, 6ft long shelving box(much like the way we started our box for the seed shelving he built me). Then we will put in five shelves at a certain height to accommodate cans being stacked two rows high (really you can't stack them higher than that anyway or they will fall). The top shelf which is near the ceiling will be where I'll put the rest of my family treasures...old cutting board etc. The shelving will be plywood that sits onto the shelf frame. I may put material or felt on the wood ..not sure. 
  The new pantry will have enough room that I can put my clothes baskets underneath (opening up my floor plan) as well as smaller rubber made totes for what I want. Then I will have a section built with either slant style shelving or with wire racks for extra spices. And I will also have room for extras like shampoo, paper towels you name it. I will also have a shelf for the gadgets I use but not everyday.
  I'm going to paint the wood a primitive cabin red/tan to match the decor and then Steve is going to make an ole fashion sign that says pantry. I'm thinking too about putting peg board on the one side then I can hang my broom there or I could get creative with things to hang there. Lots of ideas.
  I'm about half way through getting the room ready for the cabinet to pull out. Kaya feeling blah this weekend altered plans but that's ok :)
  I'm going to post before and after pics once we are done!!

Revving up....

  The Hacienda started revving up for the holidays last month and we are soon to hit holiday number 2..Thanksgiving. I LOVE the simplicity of this holiday, the simple focus on gratitude, family and abundance of the non materialistic type. This year we will also kick off Hanukkah on the same day (we are not Jewish but Kaya loves the story of the miracle of the oil and we also celebrate by reading the book, doing latkes etc. We do not do a menorah or 8 days of gifts etc as we are not Jewish. I simply like her expanding her culture horizon :) )
  This year I was the lucky gal (insert sarcasm) that drew a shift to work on Thanksgiving day and on Black Friday. I've often worked overnight on Thanksgiving to prepare for Black Friday but this year I work a day shift..which I'm thankful for..but the shift hits square in the day that I can't do dinner here as I've done traditionally since Steve and I married. It bothered me at first...till I remembered when it came to my brother's leave time in the service we've done Thanksgiving in Oct, in Jan and in August lol so truly there is no need to get upset about the date on the calendar..that's not what is important.
  I am upset about how the greed of America has led the way for people to think it's ok to leave their family tables to shop for "Great bargains" or the excuses that are deemed ok that people have to work that day. I realistically know a dr, a nurse, an ambulance driver etc will probably work and while I hate they have to..it's reasonable that the job they do is 24/7. People needing a 2 dollar toaster is NOT a reasonable excuse for a business to be open or people to shop.
  I was told this year from someone that "It is so horrible retail stores are starting the sales at 4pm! Now I have to leave my family dinner hours early to get the bargain. That is not fair to customers." I literally bit my tongue..seriously? Have we become such a nation of materialistic greed that it's ok for one person to miss their family time and meal as long as it's accommodating your family meal and your time to hit a sale? That it's horrible that YOU have to leave your dinner an hour early while my family has NO dinner together? 
  I wish sometimes people would think then open their mouths. I know some people will say it's ok to be open, that we should be happy it's extra money for Christmas. Obviously those people have also lost the true meaning of Cmas! It's NOT materialism, it's not simply gifts and it's not money. I've never shopped Black Friday nor do I ever plan to and I tend to think less harsh of people that do shop that day simply because it's been around forever. Stores forcing sales to Thanksgiving Day is relevantly new and there is one reason it's done....
  BECAUSE PEOPLE WILL SHOP THAT DAY AND MAKE THE STORES MONEY!!!
  If people don't shop, then the next year simple bottom line profit reports will determine if a store is open. 
  So while at first I was upset that our Thanksgiving meal would be on the Saturday after turkey day I reminded myself that it's not the date on the calendar it's the people at the table that makes the meal. Do I hate working that day? Yep, but I also know I have to have a job. Blunt statement...I don't work Thursday I lose my holiday pay and take an unapproved day. Sounds not too terrible for a person like me that never misses..but what if something happens later in the year that I HAVE to be home for..Steve has a relapse, Kaya is sick..whatever..I have to remember that being thankful comes in many forms...So I am thankful to have the ability to put food on my family's table, thankful to have the family that will eat with us on Saturday and thankful to have a job.

Interesting article on simplified living

 http://www.viralnova.com/tiny-house/
 
  I thought this was a really interesting article on simplified living. Granted I couldn't live in that tight of a space  but it's a very nice article on young couples starting out as well as how to simplify what you have. 
  We of course do not live in a McMansion lol but we do not live in a house this small. I've often wondered though why so many people are amazed by small house living when back in the day most people had small houses and many raised large families in them.
  I think if a person likes a big house and wants all the "bling" lol it's fine. I don't think they should be judged as long as they are happy. But I often wonder how many people desire the big home to impress friends/family and neighbors more than they need/want the space.
  I do like how the article hits on living a more deliberate lifestyle..knowing that we DO leave a foot print on this Earth no matter what some choose to think. I've often said we do not own the Earth we are simply borrowing it ..and we will choose what is left to our children, to our grandchildren. I'd much rather they have some beautiful scenery, clean air and drinkable water than I would tract housing, huge mansions, and industrial parks. 
  I try to remember it this way: Kaya is my most prized possession and I want to start her out well in life mentally/physically and spiritually and I also want to leave her a world that she can enjoy.
  So interesting article..and the view they have from their property is priceless!!

Crazy weather!!

   First it turned off cold, then warmed up with a chance of rain. By the time I got off work Sunday you could "feel" the storm coming. The humidity at work was so high that the paper would barely go through the printers. By 4pm Sunday evening the storms started popping up.
  Our sky went completely black, tornado alarms went off and Kaya grabbed her Ipad, Bella and a blanket and we headed to the closet. Steve checked on the weather while we stayed in the closet in case.
  Round one was completely freaky. The skys went completely black, the wind howled and it rained. Then suddenly it stopped, the clouds parted to let the sun out and then it was like the black clouds gobbled up the sun!! We knew when it did that and got completely still it was bad! A tornado touched down just a few miles from us. Thankfully no one was hurt.
  Round two for us was mainly rain and wind but did put a tree through a woman's house the next town over. 
  Eth and Em called to check on us after it hit them and we called to check on them after it hit us!! Very thankful that even though the tornado hit just the town over from them that they were ok!
  Interestingly enough when the storm hit here the barometric pressure was so high that it actually popped canning lids on sealed jars!!! That is some scary stuff when you put it all together.
  Very thankful we were safe, our thoughts go out to those in IL that were not so lucky and to the family of the person that died in Washington IN. 
  Mother Nature sure does what she pleases when she pleases...and lately the weather has been insane!

Whatta week!

  My seven day week is always a long one by Sunday. By Saturday morning I find myself wishing I could hit the snooze..and by Saturday night I'm thinking I should have taken a vacation day for Sunday LOL I'm thankful I only have to do them basically once a month.
  This has been a busy interesting week but the lovely cold bug has hit. Gotta love weather that goes from rain, to spitting snow, to 18 degrees at night back to the mid 60's with chance for severe storms and tornados!! Perfect weather to assist the cold bug. I'm thinking tomorrow after work it's going to be an early pj type of evening, maybe some hot chocolate (if I can bat my eyes enough at Steve LOL),cuddling in bed...and covering myself in Vicks!!! 
  Kaya made her first pan of homemade sausage gravy this week and the girl rocked it!! I started the roux for her but she told me how much flour. I added the milk but she did all the stirring and the gravy came out..perfect!! My Dad was up for supper (no sane person turns down biscuits, sausage patties, sausage gravy, and scrambled eggs!! lol) and told her that she made good gravy. She looked at him and said "I know something about making gravy!" LOL I absolutely love every moment I have with her!! She was singing while doing the gravy and her song had the line "I love cooking with my Mamma. She knows how to fix everything and she's totally rock and roll". Never been called rock n roll in my life lmbo so I'm not questioning it :)
  Steve's weight loss has been a good thing for him..but his wedding band being the spinner type you can't resize it..not a good thing. We've searched for the last two nights for his wedding band and it's really driving him nuts he cannot find it. He's taken our bed completely apart, even the slats because he was afraid when he put the blankets on the bed it might have slipped between the slats. No such luck. I've looked under the bed, against the walls, under the edge of the bookcases, you name it. It can't have grown feet and walked off so I guess tomorrow evening or Monday I'm going to have to pull everything away from the wall and see if by some fluke it's standing upright against the wood trim. That happened once before and eagle eye Kaya found it. 
  At least Kaya tried to make Steve feel better about the wedding band. "You are still the same man, the same daddy and the same husband even if you don't have a ring on. You could wear Mommy's!!" LOL
  Can say Kaya made me laugh tonight when she came trekking through the frontroom in her sports bra, underwear and Finn hat, ran into our bedroom, plopped onto the bed and started singing into the fan! LOL I don't know what was better..her song, her attire or her giggles :)
  So typical fun week at the Hacienda. Thankful for the two legged smile I have and for the hubby I have. 
  

Proof life is always fun at the Hacienda lol Found this lovely item this evening on my memory bench...Uncle Si with a beautiful bow. Kaya loves Duck Dynasty and especially Si. I guess he needed a little sprucing up! LOL :)

Love Sundays :)

  Sunday is one of my favorite days of the week and has been since I was a kid. Sunday was always total relax day (unless something pressing was at hand). Dinner was at one set of grandparents (and as that Grandpa would say "Sunday is NOT for salads only" LMBO) and then supper was at the other set. As I got older it meant reading the Sunday paper after dinner and listening to Grandpa grumble at the political show he was watching (and listening to Granny grumble at Grandpa for grumbling!! LOL) and then usually an evening visit to my other grandparents.
  Now that I'm older I'm pretty partial to any day I do not have to clock into work (haha) but I love Sundays. I no longer have grandparents to go visit and I wish I did. But we have made our own traditions here. We have been having what we jokingly call "The poor man's paradise" LMBO
  Every Sunday evening, weather permitting, we start the fire pit and fix homemade hot chocolate. It's so nice to just sit around the fire, chat and relax. Kaya chats our ears off and even the cat likes to curl up on the benches and enjoy the fire. It's a nice way to wind down and relax before Monday rolls around! 

     How could anyone I be any less than relaxed with a fire, hot chocolate (Kaya did the marshmallows) and my two lovelies :)

Thankful lists

     Month of November facebook always does daily thankful lists. I love them. I love to remind myself daily what all I do truly have in my life. And I try hard to remember that every month of the year. I also love reading others simply because it's nice to see what makes someone else smile and happy and sometimes you read someone's post and think "That is so right. I should be thankful for that".
  I thought at first about doing a daily one on here but I was afraid I'd do it on facebook, get busy and neglect it here.
 So I thought I'd do a nutshell main one here :)
 I'm thankful for the man that stands beside me every day. The man that put a ring on my finger almost 7 yrs ago but has had my heart for 10 yrs. The man that has seen the beauty in me when I see none, that has confidence I can do everything and anything. And that loves me every single day and loves me even more on my hard days.
  I'm thankful for the blessing of being called "Mommy" or Mamma. Kaya is my world. She's my curly headed proof that humans are allowed to have miracles. She's smart, funny, strong headed and keeps me grounded. She teaches me to slow down, enjoy life and see the beauty in small things. Without her I don't know what I would do and I'm thankful for being on her journey. She's my princess jumping in the mud, my tomboy wearing a tiara :)
  I'm thankful for my parents, my grandparents and my extended family. They have taught me to be strong,to make due and to enjoy life. They showed me and still show me what love is, what family means and that life is short so enjoy it.
  I'm thankful for the family I married into..all sides of it. It's not always been super easy as we are two distinct groups of people and they do not live life how I live life but they bring another dimension to my life and I truly do love them. I'm thankful that I have them and that I am lucky enough to not just love but like the family I married into.
 I'm thankful everyday for a job, for food, for shelter and for the important things in life. I'm also thankful that even though times get rough in America ..that I can say I'm an American. Our men and women died so we could have the liberties we do, so we can have our freedoms and I hope more people wake up and realize how precious that is. 
  I'm thankful for Steve's diagnosis of MS. It's not an easy road but at least we have a name on the disease that is our lives and a way to fight it. I'm thankful too to have a husband that is a fighter. That puts being a Daddy and a husband first, being a son, brother etc on the list THEN list MS fighter. It's in our life but it's not OUR life :)
  So many wonderful things to be thankful for. Thankful for the seasons, the snow, the sun, the wind. Thankful for our gardens and the bounty they provide. Thankful for the meat in our freezer, the flour in the tin..and thankful for the knowledge on how to make it on lean times :)
  Never stop counting your blessings. Know your roots, know your history and make your present worth living. Keep your future bright and always remember who you are and exactly how blessed you are :)

Thanksgiving Dinner...

  This year we did an early Thanksgiving dinner/bday dinner with Steve's Dad's side. This is our first year that Steve has ever had a family dinner with his Dad's side..all of his brothers and sisters and their families!! To make a long story short..Steve and his brother is by his Dad's first wife, then there is another set by his current wife...trouble went this way and that when Steve was growing up so he never really got to have a Dad growing up. The girls and Steve have been close for a bit and things have been going smooth and this year we decided to do a dinner together and it was awesome! Steve and his Dad have talked about things and Steve feels the past is the past and that the future can be different. His Dad has apologized for things and makes a consistent effort to keep up on Steve and Kaya. So things are moving forward. Steve says you can sit and stew over what could have been and what should have been or you can be a man, accept an apology and the fact that as a kid you didn't always understand the big picture and move ahead with your life. That he won't live life being bitter and angry and cut Kaya out of a chance to see her family on that side. VERY proud of the man Steve is.
  I'm truly lucky that I do like my father in law and step mom in law as well as my brother in laws. And I adore my sister in laws..they are sweet, funny good hearted women :) 
  Sooo we all got together at Steve's Dad's Saturday. With his brother, his sisters and their families, his Dad and StepMom and us...we had 21 of us there!!!! And that was with one brother and his daughter missing!! So nice size turnout and a wonderful meal. I think we all ate too much lol It was nice sitting and talking, watching the kids play and having a good time.
  I'm thankful for the changes that happen in life. That Kaya knows her aunts and uncles on that side, her Grandpa on that side and that they truly care for her and us. And that they are trying to have family time. As you know I'm very pro family time and I think kids and adults crave that kind of time whether they want to admit it or not. 
  So I'm hoping this becomes a new tradition for all of us. It was really a good time and Kaya said "I had the bestest time!!!" :) 

We had our first major scare...

   It's taken me a week to write this post. Maybe it's because I hate when I feel out of control or maybe it's fear of things..or maybe honestly it's a combination of worry, fear, and a bit of anger tossed in. 
   Sunday night Steve took his MS shot. He had to miss 3 wks of shots due to being under the weather..having cold symptoms or flu symptoms makes his shot unbearable. He's never had a problem in over a year of skipping one when sick or even any reactions in a year.
  Sunday night kept us on our feet and reminded us just what we could have to deal with. First his temperature shot up. Then shot up further. Then further till it was in the 104ish range. He was literally hot to stand next to! He was under 3 blankets when I felt the bed shaking like crazy..and he was shaking so violently it made me jump out of bed. He could talk etc so it wasn't a seizure. He was shaking from feeling so cold and with the cold and shaking..his muscles were tensing up causing more reaction.
  He put on a hoodie  and under another layer of blankets. 4 doses of 800 mg ibuprofen later and his fever finally broke. Exhausted, achy and with tense muscles he hobbled around till finally getting comfortable enough on the couch to catch some sleep. I took a vacation day to watch Kaya and to keep an eye on him.
  Finally about 4 or 5 that Monday evening he began to feel better. Severely tired and his knee killing him he pretty much rested on Tuesday but I was thankful to have my Mom off work to help out so I could return to work.
  I think the fear hangs in there because when he gets severely tired and achy..a relapse could be around the corner. We've made it over a year with NO relapse and we are always thinking in the back of our minds when will the bomb go off?? I can't stand not being in control of myself and situations and when Steve was so miserable I couldn't "fix it"...it was hard. I couldn't break down and cry or act as if I was scared because it doesn't solve anything and isn't useful in a time like that. But it's not easy. I was going on barely 2 hrs sleep and when I'm tired the tears come easy..so it was a double whammy lol 
  I don't think sometimes people truly understand MS. If you do not have it or you are not the support/spouse/caregiver to someone that has it..you don't always fully grasp it. Watching Steve battle those side effects that he had beat so many months ago sickened my heart. And it makes you think what if his MS relapses or he moves to the next stage? I love him no matter what and I'm always going to be right beside him but I know it's not easy on him. And it plants that seed of what will happen this week. He's moving his shot to Sat night so if he has bad symptoms I won't be off work etc. and my Mom is available to help out on Monday and Tuesday. It killed him I had to use a vacation day and go all day on little sleep..but I told him it's not the end of the world. And it wasn't. It's a small sacrifice for someone I love and needed me.
  I think the fear and worry feeling mixed with anger on Monday when I realized just how people honestly react to MS and how they will not be there for us when we need them. I've always had issues with how others react to MS and how they do...but I always held in my heart that those that SHOULD be there for us even if just in asking about Steve etc would be there when we needed them. That theory is pretty much shattered. Maybe they just don't know how to react, don't know how to handle things. To be honest I can't think for others and I can't figure out others so I just have to let them bear the situation how they feel. And I have to be thankful for my Mom and the ones that offered to watch Kaya, that checked on us and that covered for me at work. Honestly the good things might as well stick with me and the bad things wash away. Otherwise anger takes over and I have to remind myself "Mamma raised a lady, Mamma raised a lady" LMBO ;)

Family Hog Roast

  Saturday was the family hog roast. We try to do one every year in last Oct, first part of Nov to celebrate the fall/winter bdays, so the kids can be together for treats (Halloween) and to just be together. This years was wonderful.
   My uncle ordered a pig this year since he didn't raise one. 210 lbs of fresh pork hit the cooker at 5am.
  

 My uncle and cousin did an awesome job! We had ham that was done in the smoker, ribs, tenderloin, chunked pork and we had my fave...bbq pulled pork cooked in a cast iron pot over the fire pit! Oh my ..it was awesome lol

It was a great day of family fun. Most of my cousin's made it. Funny how it doesn't seem that long ago it was us playing in the yard being silly and now we are watching our kids play together! Kaya loved being with her cousins and having fun. They played every game imaginable, chased each other, went on hikes and she was in heaven when Lynn let her ride on the trailer while she drove the 4wheeler to the barn ;) She saw the horses and got to feed them.

I love to hear my Mom chatting with her sisters..all my aunties in the kitchen talking or sitting on the porch laughing. I love seeing my uncles relaxing and having fun. And I love catching up with all my cousins. We all live different lives, have branched out in different ways, do things differently but in the end we are all family :) 

 Treat bags with wayyy too much candy was made up for the kiddos (which they loved) and with 4 tables of food (yes we have a big clan..lol) we had plenty of leftovers for everyone to take home. I always enjoy sitting on the porch swing eating my Aunt's swedish nut cake...it reminds me so much of the cakes my Grandma use to make.

 Even though a few couldn't make it yesterday and a few were greatly missed, but celebrating in Heaven..it was a good time. I know Grandma and Grandpa are proud of how we still come together to have meals etc. And I know Uncle Ronnie was watching his young grandsons play and smiling :) I miss them all alot. It seems like those chairs will never be filled at the table.

 Families that break bread together stay together. It strengthens the bonds, it passes on family information and it makes our children realize what family is. I use to feel like I had to be apologetic because my family spent time together and threw big dinners together because others didn't have that/don't try to have that...but now I've realized that is their loss and I'm thankful for every minute I have with my family.

  It's almost like it reenergizes you for the week, the month! Down home we can be ourselves,do our thing and it was a day spent with lots of love,laughter and food :)

Marriage..

 A friend at work once told me "what is marriage to you" I said "it's 50/50 both people have to work on it". Then he smiled and said "Nope it's 100/100..you both have to give it all you got." That has always stuck with me and when I saw this poster I thought it was fitting. Marriage isn't easy. Far from it. But if only one person gives 100% it doesn't work. If only one person gives 50%  it doesn't work. If both give only 50 your half way there but you'll have 50% missing. Both people have to realize it's a heart investment..an investment of time, of emotions and of being actively involved and aware. No,men are most likely not going to react or be like us..but in honesty we probably don't want them to or need them to be. A good marriage is balanced on the fact that not only do both partners give 100% but you also realize that your husband balances you out and you balance him out. I know our marriage is that way.Steve is the laid back, roll with the flow and let very little get to him type. Issues come up and if they are outside this home then he may listen but that's it. Me I'm more of a worrier about things and have had to learn that I can't fix the world. He says I'm a hippy (lol I'm faaaarrr from that) but I know he means that I'm loving and I try to see things how people SHOULD be..and at times it's hard to see how some really are. I've called him hard before but I hope he knows that I mean it in the sense that his loyalty lays 100% with me and Kaya and nothing sways that. So sometimes to me he comes off hard and unemotional over outside issues but I've come to learn that he loves many but he doesn't allow himself to take on others drama or issues. He's not "hard" he's centered in how he does things.

Halloween

    

Another Halloween has come and gone. That magical time of year when scary is ok,bats could be vampires ;),carving pumpkins and enjoying all the fun Halloween entails.

 This year the weather was a little less than desirable but the town decided to still have trick or treat on Halloween evening. Thankfully the rain gave way to a decent time of trick or treating, the local kid's club did an indoor trick or treat and we went to one of our fave relatives so Kaya could get treats and have fun. Kaya had a ball so that is all that matters. And that we made it in before the rain cut loose like crazy!

 Our sweet little vampire nurse visited her Mimi last weekend in costume (sans face makeup lol) at the nursing home and Mimi and the staff loved it. As did all the residents. She did Tuesday night at our cousin's nursing home party. The residents hand out candy and see all the trick or treaters, it's totally safe and the nursing home staff provides the kids with a mini party...cookies, cider, hot chocolate, chocolate milk, popcorn and coloring pages. Kaya loved it and loved going with her little cousin. I like it too because Kaya learns that not everyone gets to celebrate the way she does and sometimes it's not always about getting the "treat" it's also about treating someone else to a smile.

 I think Kaya has learned that lesson because trick or treat night she asked to stop by the local gas station where our friend works and give her a piece of candy.."because she can't trick or treat so she needs to be thought of too! It'll make her happy" And it did :)

 Daddy enjoys the holiday too and made his own zombie makeup (even though the rain put a damper on him getting to wear it...it would fall apart/run) and Kaya loved how his hand came out lol

Not bad for school glue, toilet paper, homemade "blood" (hairgel mixed with food coloring). He did a good job lol

The Hacienda loves Halloween and we really have had a great October. Since we didn't get to make them last night we did Mummy dogs for supper and Kaya was amazed. Simple twist on pigs in a blanket. We put a blanket down on the front room floor and instant awesome picnic :)

We rationalized today is Los dias de los muertos  and that leads into All Souls Day so we were having Mummies LOL

All in all a great holiday and a good month. Hoping November is full of fun, laughter, love and blessings as well :)

Well..vacation came to an end...

  Decided on Sunday that I could feel the funk coming on. That blah feeling of bad mood mixed with edgyness because Monday was the first day back after vacation. Steve could sense it (was it the quick responses, the faces I was making, the tears that kept edging up?? lol) and decided we needed to just go for a drive.
  So we took off to the river to see the leaves changing, enjoy the peace and quiet then cut back a back road to a friend's house to check out her chicken coop and visit. Kaya loved all her special breed chickens (and I can admit they are gorgeous well behaved creatures) and the chicken house. We visited the covered bridge and we took a walk from the shut off road all the way to the new road and it was really a nice time. 
  Vacation as a whole was awesome. Lots done, persimmon pulp put up, garden beds readied for winter,and lots of just us time. I loved it. 
  Only sad part was going to pay our respects to very dear family friends (honestly more family than friends in feelings) who lost their grandma/Mom. I know that raw heartache and I feel for them ..that day and every day. At holidays and special moments. Even in the tiny insignificant times when memories, a smell, a photo or a moment will make them think of her. I often wish I had the magic words to make moments like that ok...but I suppose hugs and lots of thoughts is all one can do.
  It also reminds us to live life well, with lots of love, and cherish every moment...for nothing is guaranteed or planned. Whether we are 40 or 100...at some point our time will be up. Say I love you when you can, move on from fights and hold tight those people you love. 
  I wish vacation would have lasted longer but I'm thankful to have any. Some people don't get that luxury. I love all the times I have with my little family.
 And as Kaya said Sunday evening "I know Mamma, I know. Tomorrow is Monday. But we'll survive....right?!!" :) 

Our first day of snow and sleet..

   Today is my Mom's bday and Kaya said it was marked with "awesome snow flakes" and some sleet. Nothing stuck or got too slick but I'm afraid winter has started a tad bit early. 
  We were going to enjoy our Thursday evening with the fire pit and a big pot of homemade hot chocolate (Steve makes the best homemade hot chocolate..complete with a lil cinnamon and cayenne pepper!!) but the wind decided otherwise. Barely up to 40 all day, damp and a cutting wind that even Kaya said "made my eyes cold" ...we nixed the fire pit idea and may try again tomorrow evening. Instead we kept the pot of hot chocolate idea lol and it was tasty!
  Had my mother in law over for supper and it was nice. I made a big pot of homemade chicken and dumplings, a loaf of homemade white bread and then for dessert Kaya made a cherry pie with ghost and witches hats cut out of pie crust. I make my own pie crust alot and Kaya likes rolling it out. I often let her cut shapes out for the pie topping, sprinkle a little sugar over it and bake it. She made this one for her Grandma W's bday :)

  My Mom loves scary movies and books and it is October so Kaya decided this is what she needed for her bday..came out pretty good even though I forgot whip topping lol
   Today was mainly a day of paying bills, getting house stuff and running to the feed store. We didn't get much done around here but a day down is nice :) Cozying in for the evening and relaxing is the main thing on the agenda.

Simplicity

  Yesterday morning I read a beautiful blog post about simplicity. I think with everything we've had going on, how we live a much more simple life than some we know,...the blog just hit the spot. The excerpt that got me was this :
    That's what the simple life is.  It's a life not cluttered up with filler but filled  with what counts. It's having time and space to live.  It's not about wide open as in the country but wide open in your spirit. It's about having room to let life happen because it's going to happen.

The simple life isn't the mystery we make of it.  It's available to all of us in some form or the other.
We just have to stop dreaming about it, talking about and wishing for it and live it.

Simplicity isn't a matter of location or time in history and it doesn't mean easy. Most things worth having aren't easy.

Simplicity, it starts and ends in the heart."

  It hit the nail on the head beautifully. It's exactly how we live our life, try to live our life, and how we want Kaya to live her life. And for some odd reason it brought home the conversation Steve and I have had this week...and it caused a serious turning point in my heart.

  We want Kaya to know life shouldn't be filled with filler....material items, constant hectic going ons, and instead should be filled with what counts....family, love, nature, life. We want her to have that wide open spirit and soul regardless of where she lives. We want her to know she can survive without the latest gadget or if a restaurant is closed. We want her to know where her food comes from,that as a family we pull together to get things done and we pull together tighter when times are hard.

  I love too that the blog said it was not a location that caused simplicity but a way of thought. Whether in the country, on the subway, living in a huge city or on your own little garden plot..you can live a simple life. That there is no magical formula or self help book to make it happen. You just have to DO IT!

  But I think the thing that struck me the most was the simple line "It's about having room to let life happen because it's going to happen" that hit me right over the head. I think some people, mainly family, have a hard time with the fact that we live a majority of our life this way. We know it's going to rain but it doesn't ruin the day. That today may suck royally but it's ONE BAD DAY, not a bad life. You have to leave that room in your life for life to happen, adjust your thinking and keep going.

  It also brought home the message Steve told me this week when he said I have to apply that thinking to all areas of my life. I've laid my heart out this last few weeks and to be honest the message I've gotten back...total silence...speaks volumes. It's been made clear to us that we are not the focal point of anything in the family. At first it hurt, it stung and I thought "what a bunch of lying hypocrites talking family and love then basically writing us off as they are "too busy with others" to include us". then it hit. LEAVE ROOM IN YOUR LIFE FOR LIFE TO HAPPEN. Put my heart back in my chest where it belonged, not on my cuff-sleeve, and adjusted my thinking. 

  Adjusted my thinking to remember that the ones under this roof love unconditionally and simply from the heart. That in less than 2 weeks I'll be with my side of the family for a huge hog roast doing what a family should do..being together and enjoying life. That we stay busy with our life and that we are happy. 

  Living simply isn't easy all the time. You have to stop and think..nope not going to be doing it that way or thinking that way...but it sure is nicer :)