Fun Bday party :)

  Kaya bounced around from one idea to another on her cake and party design. We always make her cake (excluding her very first), come up with a neat party and we always let her select the theme. After all it is her special day. First she went with LalaLoopsy. I was excited..super easy and lots of ideas. Then it went to Mario Brothers. Ok...little harder but doable. Then Tom and Jerry...near impossible to find and do. Then Princess...which she changed herself due to she had a cousin just have a Princess party. Then she settled on Minions from Despicable Me but wanted to do a beach scene.
   The idea came together great and with the 3 of us...Steve, me and Kaya...pitching in we had a great party.
  Kaya and I mixed up and baked one funfetti white cake. After it cooled I put it on a cake sheet (To be honest I used a cereal box that was headed for the recycling bin and put several layers of aluminum foil onto it to stiffen it up...worked like a charm!). I iced it in a crumb coating with white then iced it all over with  vanilla icing. For the sand I used brown sugar and made my "beach". For the water I used blue icing then topped it with zig zag lines of sparkly blue icing. Simply took a small spoon, used the back of the spoon and worked the "waves" into the water. Toy Minions from the Surprise Bags were used for toppers. Along with gummy sharks in the water, gummy sea turtles venturing all over the cake, a life saver candy for the water toy and umbrellas meant for drinks became sun umbrellas :)
   To round out the party we made and decorated 57 cupcakes (chocolate and yellow cake) with half of them done in blue icing to look like the ocean and topped with gummy turtles or sharks. The other half we did in white icing, sprinkled brown sugar on to make sand and then made candy crabs for the tops. I LOVED the crab idea Steve found online and it came out great.
   

We used candy orange slices turned with the bend down (so it formed sort of a U shape). Then we cut 4 toothpicks in half. On two toothpicks we put orange Dots (a gummy candy) then used icing to stick candy eyes onto the dots. These made the eyes of the crab. For the pinchers we cut peach gummies in half, trimmed them down and stuck them to toothpicks..one on each side..and pushed them into the orange slices. The kids loved them.
 We also did jello cups of "Sea water" with white surf and Minions playing in the water :)
 

Simply make blue Jello, put a decent amount into a clear cup. After it sets up and right before the party add a bit of Reddi Whip or cool whip to the top of the jello. Then we stuck in a Minion honey gram. Instant Minion fun. We also decided to make a plate of Twinkie Minions simply because..they are cute lol We used a Twinkie, glued a candy eye or eyes on with icing, traced around the eye(s) in black icing and did a tiny mouth smiling. We even used purple spray icing for the wild Purple Minion :)

How the party table looked
 We even did a small fondue pot of yellow chocolate that the kids could dip marshmallows into to make mini minions. We cut up sweet bread too for dipping.
 The party was awesome but most important wasn't Kaya's cake and table, gifts or anything like that..it was hearing her say "Of course I'm excited for gifts I'm a kid. But I'm excited for my family to come!!"
  She was doubly excited when her gift came a couple days later from her Uncle in Cali. It really made her day to know he sent a gift "from waaaayyy out there...all the waaaayyy herre!" :)

6 yrs ago today!!!!

   At apx 1:11 am six years ago today my heart grew so large I thought it would burst. I had always heard the minute you hold your child you not only cry but you realize what love at first sight means. And I sure did! After all our visitors left that early morning and before the next round would come that afternoon..I looked at my baby girl. All 9lbs 5 oz, 19 1/2 inches of perfection. Round cheeks, dark hair, 10 fingers and 10 toes. My heart skipped a beat just holding her. Still to this day when I put her to bed I tend to find myself staring at her. Her curly hair, honey colored eyes...the only miracle Steve and I have ever performed but what a wonderful one!
  Every step in life is exciting. I've learned that you may win the Bad Mommy award this afternoon because you said no but by night fall you're the "bestest Mommy ever" :)
  Kaya has taught me to slow down and really "see" life. To notice those small things that make life beautiful. She's taught me patience, unconditional love, and that sometimes the things I've thought was a fault in me..is perfection in her eyes :) She's taught me to forgive and move on, to see the world through a child's eyes and to just be myself. She's taught me that my heart runs around on long legs, that no matter what goes on in life we are a team...it's the 3 of us facing it together :) She's taught me that sometimes I have to let her be brave (even if it give me white hair) or how will she ever be brave later in life??!! She's taught me that being the Mamma of a tomboy in a tiara isn't always easy but there really is no better job. She's brought out at times things that I needed to have slap me in the face.....child logic is sometimes blunt but always honest. And she's brought home that real love..knows no boundaries.
  I love her zany unique sense of humor and way of looking at life. I love that she is herself and could care less if other girls act a certain way..she is true to herself. I love how she says "Oh my my hair is rather wonky today". I love how she loves a person for who they are..not what they have. I love that she is blunt but never to the point of rude, I love that she is independent (even though it's getting harder to see that as a pro as she gets older lol), that she wants to be a veterinarian, and that she has an empathetic heart. Don't get me wrong she's far from perfect. Bull headed, stubborn, sassy and at times down right pushing me to the limits...but that is how a child learns right from wrong and grows. She's not perfect..but she is our imperfect and that is perfect :)
  At 6 Kaya stated
fave color: purple, pink, red, blue and green
fave drink: milk, water, sweet tea and a pop if I can have one!!
fave food: passghetti (spaghetti) or chicken
fave snackfood : ooohhh my there's many
fave veggie: hmmm probably tomatoes and corn!
fave takeout: Chinese or Mexican
fave game to play: hide n seek
fave thing about herself: everything. I'm happy being me :)
fave part of the day: anytime I'm with family
fave part of her bday: I've gotta say gifts because I'm a kid and that's what kids really think. But I                                            love my family and my cool cakes too!
How did she feel turning 6: I knew it happened because I felt taller. My feet also feel bigger. I'm sure                                                of it. I'm not some ole baby anymore!
    So Kaya Rain...I hope you always see yourself as I see you. Do I want you to touch the stars? Yep one day but not too soon..I want you to always challenge yourself to be better, do the things you love and keep growing in all ways. I hope you all see yourself as beautiful, smart, funny and well loved. I hope you reach all your goals and surpass even your wildest dreams. I hope too that you always remember that your roots are always here and with this family..but to never be afraid to branch out and see the world,enjoy life and to LIVE. I hope I stay your "bestest friend forever" and that you never let society, school or life wear you down or join the crowd.
  My baby is 6. Where has the time went???? Love you baby girl. Forever you'll be our sweet punkin butt, Daddy's little rat ;) and our world :)

Set your standard...

  I will hold myself to a standard of Grace, not perfection. I really seriously like that saying.
  To some Grace is a religious ideal...saved by grace, living in grace and forgiving as Christ would. To some it's living a giving good life. To some it's only focusing on one area of life at a time.
  To me it means to live within my means in all areas. To forgive myself as I would others. To see my pluses, to live my life simpler, calmer and happier. To allow myself to step away from the idea of perfection..it's not possible and you'll go nuts attaining it. Sure you can wipe the sink out 100 times a day but honestly...it's not really doing anything but calming your insane perfections.
  Now don't get me wrong. Standards are good, needed and perfection is attained..but it's through realizing that your perfect is not my perfect. That your life works for you (or doesn't ..then you need to reevaluate and try again) and mine works for me. I have my own little things I have to do and to some they are nutty..to be they keep me calm. There is no snapshot of what perfection is yet all of us try so hard to attain it. We try so hard to reach that goal, to seek that approval that we don't live in the moment, we don't value what we have because we are constantly looking for the "perfect" thing. It doesn't exist. My life, myself, my child, my husband, my home, my job, my friends...none of it is perfect. But how boring it would be if it was. There would be no room for improvement. No room to grow. No need to try things, to test the water. I firmly believe too that people that pressure themselves for perfection will then pressure their spouses and that leads to marriage issues unneeded. You married the man for better or worse and unless it was something insane along the way..you knew who you was marrying. Don't "fix him and make him perfect"..love him as you would want to be loved...totally imperfections and all. I also believe it trickles down to children and then we have 8 yr olds with ulcers because they aren't color coordinating their lives away, aren't firmly in that "box" of life. Pffft Kaya will never be forced to be like another child. I hate labels and I hate bullies and I won't be one myself.
  To parent in Grace isn't going to make it easier. To be honest it makes you face yourself daily. It makes you face your struggles but it also makes you realize you are human. It calms you. It makes you realize that you shouldn't be feeling that life will end if the laundry isn't folded. I think it's important to show your child chores have to be done but I think we need to show them balance. Noone ever says at a funeral of a parent "I loved watching her do dishes. I really liked never playing outside because she needed to do the towels." or "I loved Dad. He was never around, never involved but the man brought home great pay". Sorta blunt but you see what I mean!
  So in my daily life I wear many, many hats. Wife, Mamma, sister, daughter, in law, employee, boo boo bandager, meal maker, organizer, gardener, lawn keeper..and I wear them each imperfectly happily :) Some days I'm more one than the other. My happy cup will be to the top and spilling over. Other days it's nearly empty and I wonder how I'm going to make it. Then I stop, refocus and see what life is truly about. I have parents that love me to the end of the Earth. I have a brother that is not only my best friend but one of the finest guys I know. My heart bursts with pride that he is truly living his life happily :) I have a husband that would lay down and die for me and Kaya. That loves me every day and even more on my bad days. I have a daughter who is not only my world but lights my path in life more than she realizes. I have family and friends that hold me up more than they know. And I have people that test my limits but..that is life.
  So I live my life to the standard of Grace. Not perfection. If more people realized the grass is greener on the other side of the fence it's usually for two reasons: You're either not watering your own yard enough...or the other side has more fertilizer ;)
  

Just thinking....

"If you judge people,you have no time to love them" Mother Teresa

   The above quote is one I try to always keep in mind. Humans err and I'm no different. I've judged when I shouldn't but I try hard to not make it a habit. One because it really speaks volumes about the judger more than it does the judged, in my opinion.
  I don't really see life in black and white because there are many, many shades of gray tossed in. I've often found myself repeating "Not all folks are raised the same" in my mind. 
 I don't find myself scared and nervous because of someone's skin color, I don't think other cultures are "weird",I've been on both sides of poor and not completely poor lol, I could care less about someone's sexual preference and I don't think people should judge,ridicule or separate themselves from others simply because of religious or political views. I've also learned that you are not going to change someone set in their ways or that feels they are "right" in how they do things.
  I've struggled off and on with feelings that my little family is invisible on a certain level and it's bothered me. One that we are treated that way and Two because I ALLOWED it to bother me. I'm the type that usually lets stuff roll off my back and go on my way. But some things in the last year or so has stuck at me. I have tried and tried to untether the deal from my heart but after a few weeks/months it would find it's way back. Usually around get together times etc when I feel like we are left out.
  Then in the last week or so, basically since Steve's relapse, I've realized it's ME feeling left out not THEM caring if I'm left out. I've judged some people based on how I think life should be and maybe that is unfair. I've never understood why some folk do things the way they do, but they do it anyway. Maybe they look at us and wonder why we do things the way we do.Do I love them less...no. But I've got to let that whole deal go and move on. I'm never going to make them want to have get togethers, want to be involved with my kiddo. I'm never going to make them pick the phone up and check on Steve or see if we need anything. It's just not their style.
   So I've decided to let sleeping dogs lie. I've tried, I've been fair and I've been involved. It hurts that some of them have only seen Kaya 5 times in the last year and a half (two of those times were for barely 15 mins!!) but I have to say it's their loss. Kaya is growing and changing daily and nothing is going to stop the clock of time. I hate that she has forgotten names of family members because they don't speak TO her but I'm no longer smoothing things over to make them feel better.
  When it comes to Steve it is what it is. I know both sides love him dearly and both sides have lots on their plates. I'm no longer worrying about how they would feel if something happened and they've not taken the time to call him, speak to him or check on him...I'm only focusing on us.
  I can't fix everything for everyone and keep everyone happy at the expense that I'm upset. I just have to continue to be me, treat others how I want to be treated and enjoy life. Maybe at times it's hard on some to just realize we are HAPPY no matter what because we see the big picture. Maybe they are struggling to find their happy and it's hard on them to see us happy or they think we don't understand. Which isn't true. Our life isn't smooth sailing every day, without worry or stress....we just try hard to make it work and find the happy.
  My brother has always said holding in anger and bitterness hurts you...but does nothing to the person your mad at. You either talk to them about what is wrong and both sides work on it (which I have numerous times to only be ignored, gave excuses or talked about behind my back) or you work on yourself and leave the other person to work on themselves. So that is what I am doing.