Learning...

    I think my lesson I've learned so far this year ...and it's finally sunk in..is
"If it's broke but the person doesn't want to see it as broke...you can't fix it". Sorta a rewording in the opposite direction of "if it's not broke don't try to fix it".
  I've always been a fixer and I've always been about family. I've tried hard in every area to be family oriented and close up some gaps that had been widening. It all sorta came to a head this month when..well lets just say some that gossip about me/my family are not good at removing it from hardcopy. Yeah. It hurt more than it angered me. Here was two people that I loved alot ,who I have literally dropped everything for to be there when they needed me..even when it meant bumping heads with my hubby, discussing me in a less than sweet fashion and it was in black and white. All because I stood up for my little family, my feelings and voiced my own opinions. How was I going to handle it?
   Steve of course took swift action in my defense and wasted no time in setting the record straight. But I knew I had to also decide for once to stop sitting on the fence in life. So I didn't confront them. I didn't play into the drama or play the little game. I decided to let it go, be civil when they are civil to me..but to finally let myself let go of that "feeling". You know the feeling that if you do something with your own family instead of checking to see if others want to be included you feel guilty? That feeling that was just a constant dull ache that ached for my kiddo to have a certain normalcy with family. That feeling that I needed to do things that brought us together.
  Something snapped inside of me and that ache is gone. For the first time in awhile I have no guilt about not telling others our plans, for making our own plans for just the ones in this house and I have stopped trying to sew edges together that constantly unravel. And I feel as if I can breathe again.
  Maybe my kid will miss out on some things with certain family..but..then again she isn't missing something that hasn't been there. She knows which ones come together and she's getting older every day. Time is short and we all have an expiration date. But it will be them if something happens that will face their own guilt of never being around, not seeing our daughter blossom and develop her own awesome self. If you use a funeral as your family get together....it speaks volumes.
  Then..my uncle underwent a quadruple bypass. What fear thinking we could lose him. He of course came out great and is struggling to NOT be busy. He's a strong man with work ethic like you wouldn't believe and sitting is hard for him. On my way home from visiting him it clicked.
  If something was to happen to Steve I know who has my back, who's by my side and who is there for us and in what forms. I can't keep trying to make people be there, I can't keep trying to make them understand what MS is, and I cannot waste any more precious time pampering them/their feelings and their attitudes. If they want to fall apart and fall into bed with every single issue...then they are not going to be my strength if something happens. I was raised I guess the right way....food for funerals and surgeries, family meals, closeness,sharing, love without material price tags....but not everyone is. Some will put every single need of their own first then make you feel bad if you need them. Some will be offended that you didn't ask them to help when they really never wanted to help anyways.
  Soo as Steve said
"If it's broke but the person doesn't want to see it as broke...you can't fix it"

My inside projects!!!!

    Some before pictures of inside. We've lived here like 7 years and hadn't really changed the paint, borders etc. Just decided this year to get brave and do what we wanted to do..and to say I love it is an understatement. So this post I'll do the before pictures first and then the after!! :) A bit long because I'm not the best at figuring out how to do the pics on here lol
  

  Area around my cabinets...lots of family oldies, ivy lights etc.

Span across my kitchen...

 Kitchen main wall. Not too exciting LOL
  Now for the after:
  

   My main wall now!!!! The kitchen is cabin red (forgive some of the shots...flash was a bit wonky in a few and shadows etc). Steve helped stencil on this tree on the main wall..it sits right above where the kitchen table will be (which eventually will be my new one..Steve is using old beat up pallets to make me a farm style table :) )

            The area above my cabinets no longer have ivy lights but are backlight with small white lights. Steve helped me get our antiques more organized...this run has all our old flour sifters, my Granny's wooden recipe box, two of my grandma's old grinders, an old slaw maker, my Granny's yeast roll pan and the last dish is my great, great, great Grandma's serving bowl from the original farm homestead :)

  Looks a bit different huh? LOL My persimmon pulpers etc

   Steve stenciled this above my kitchen sink/kitchen window. I absolutely love it and it ties in beautifully with the tree on the opposite wall.  Family is a huge thing to us and this sums up my feelings exactly :)

  Sorry for the shadow but another view of the tree. I love how it came out :)

    I also decided since our hallway directly connects with our kitchen as well as you can see one wall of the utility room from the start of the hallway that I would do the hallway in the cabin red. I decided to do just the main wall facing the kitchen in the utility room red and leave the opposite you can't see unless you are in the utility room white. Why? Because the light reflecting off the white will keep the utility room "brighter" and to be honest I had no desire to lug out my front load washer and dryer yet lol  The hallway has our huge American star and...

my star picture hanger that says "Faith, Family and Friends"..















  Finally I also have redone the front room...it was the same blah white with a cutesy American teddy bear border. Hot water mixed with fabric softener and the border was GONE. The white was replaced with Winter Wheat color (a warm tannish shade) and...I love it!! 
   

   My quilt rack now holds my handmade quilt my great grandma made. It also holds our Americana houses and bears (gifts from friends etc). I redid the bookcase (not shown) so it holds family pics . It also holds my Great grandma's school books!!! complete with her handwriting notes in it. I also have my great Uncles farm books and his scrapbook from WW2. 

Space beside the bedroom doors

     

Front room wall. Other wall has Kaya's pictures on it as well as the
entertainment center etc.

 I think the best thing about the projects was other than Steve
giving me pointers (I'd never painted!!) and helping me
tape etc I pretty much did it all myself!! Of course
Kaya got a few brushstrokes in ;) lol but all in all I did all the
painting myself :)

Yard projects pictures 2

 Top picture shows how we framed our beds in to run that entire side of the house. Our carnations are back dropped by honeysuckle then runs around to the old red water pump and tulips with more carnations then over to the solid purple clematis bed. We built it last year to contain water that pools up there..clematis love water so it worked great! They will eventually vine up the lattice to the roof. Then you skip where the garage door is and over to the next bed..which has a cool vining bush, cottage leek from Steve's grandma, lilies, and then wraps to the bottom section that is shown. We have a cedar tree in it, huge hosta, my fave two tone clematis, a bird bath, a type of bushy flower (the name escapes me lol), the wagon wheel and then it continues down that side of the house with more hostas and assorted plants and an old push seeder.
   The other side of the house has forsythia bushes transplanted, purple carnations, dark brown mulch, our compost box, huge peaches and cream honeysuckle and ends in three different shades of irises and hyacinths (as well as Lizzy the lizard's grave). We are doing that whole side in dark brown mulch. We now have five garden beds on the hill on that side to help with erosion and mowing. We are planting raspberry bushes by the clothesline so they will vine and twist on the line and not down the yard. We have at least one more bed to put down which will be a hot box (wood with a sheet of glass hinged to the top) to do veggies in the cold.
  We currently have broccoli, kale, four types of lettuce, onions, red cabbage, 30 tomato plants (assorted types),cauliflower,cucumbers,strawberries, banana peppers, Mexican oregano, sweet basil,peas, 2 types of green beans and gourds going!!!! We've already had a cutting of broccoli and been eating some sweet strawberries. The compost box has been doing an awesome job of bringing in night crawlers etc and really softening up the ground.
  Still have more outside work to do but very proud of how it's coming along this year :)

Yard project pictures

Decided to post some pics of projects we've either finished up or already have done in the last month or so. The top pic is of our old walk as we are tearing it up. With a new perspective, lots of elbow grease and reworking supplies we already had we created an awesome new walkway. Steve is great at landscaping and plants and has a really good eye for detail so things come out looking awesome. I tell him it's cause he has an awesome coworker ;) lol

  The new pattern of the walk. We have pea gravel from the fire pit we did (still finishing up the pallet furniture for it..will post when done!) and it was used for the spaces between the main stones. VERY sturdy, no sinkage and no water standing. Love too that instead of one narrow path from the driveway we now have a two stone wide walk! Below is the complete finished project...we even added in a flower bed on the side to help with water runoff and to pretty it up. Dark purple carnations with dark brown mulch. The angle looks a little off in this picture but it's my camera angle...it was raining lol Once the stones settle in on the mortar and sand then we will push any gaps closed etc. Doing a job yourself isn't always super easy or quick but feels great when your done. Kaya was in charge of helping spread the pea gravel...she loved it lol
   

My Early Mom's day gift :)

     Pretty lucky lady to have this early Mother's Day gift :) Kaya placed the wording, my little brother came up with the idea for the picture and Steve tied it all together with a punched tin old metal pie pan :) I am in LOVE with it :) It's at the end of the bar as you come in the kitchen. It ties in great with our new kitchen look too.
  I'm a very blessed woman to have so many that love me, to have the chance to be called Mamma, and to have a husband that is creative enough to know exactly what to get me...and it's rarely ever from a store lol 
  

Life has been busy busy

   What a whirlwind time since the last blog! Kaya is definitely in a growth spurt stage...you cannot keep her full of food, she's either running full steam or fighting going to sleep..and those are her classic signs of a growth spurt. To say I was amazed when I accidently bought the wrong size tank top...and it FIT HER!!!...is an understatement. She's tall and slim and having that long torso makes it hard on finding shirt lengths etc. Forget about even buying a two piece outfit..we stick to separates! lol 
  Since our last post we've finished our flower bed project, nearly completed another, have the third garden bed planted, the fourth one started and the fifth one's frame done and ready to fill. We have our first little crowns of broccoli showing, strawberries are spreading like wild fire, and our beans are coming through. Saw the first peek of the cucumber vine starting as well!! Tomatoes have 3 blooms on them and that excited Kaya the most (she's a serious addict). Transfered 12 red husky cherry tomatoes to the beds. We got the forsynthia bushes transplanted and so very happy that the iris's that didn't bloom at all last year are popping with blooms in their new home on the other side of the house!! All we have left to do on that side of the house is mulch completely around the compost box to the end of the house. I'm toying with starting creeping phlox so it will go from the bottom of the garden beds to the drainage ditch ..beautiful coverage and let's be honest..I won't have to mow or weed eat that narrow area LOL  Steve is happy that the honeysuckle is busting with blooms. Unfortunately something dug up on clematis plant so it may not bloom this year. 
  Kaya was excited we caught a giant coon that had taken up resident under our porch. The thing was massive..easily 40 lbs and filled up the cage but we got him relocated to a safer place. You can't blame an animal for doing what comes naturally to it.
  Spring is a busy time at the Hacienda and it's a good thing we are all outdoors types. Between mowing,weed eating, gardening, taking care of flower beds etc I sometimes find myself pushing it to get regular household stuff done up. But I'm thankful for a husband that sees the importance of a garden, pitches in everywhere (except doing silverware lol) and a kiddo that is right in the middle of whatever we are doing.
   We've completed our kitchen project (pictures to come), have our front room project lined up and will also try to get the bathroom done and eventually our bedroom. Our house paint wise (except for the bathroom) has been all white since we moved in. Time for a change :) 
   We have Kaya's big fifth bday to plan for in June (pretty much lined out.) She wants Monster High and I've already got the perfect cake design. We usually have about 40 at the party..all family..so we usually just do chips and hotdogs etc. April kicks off bdays for our house as all but 3 of my 9 nieces and nephews bdays are from April to June!!!! As well as my two very close cousins turning the big 16 and 18 respectively at a huge June party this year.
   We are bracing ourselves to get Kaya ready for Kindergarten. 
   Steve was tested for his B12 levels and they are on the low side so he now does his weekly MS shot and takes liquid B12 every day with a B12 shot every month. Thankfully he can give it to himself so that cuts down on dr bills. And the B12 is only 4 dollars a month!!! WHOOO Considering his MS shot went up to $2400 for 12 needles (3mo) we are VERY lucky that our copay program did not raise our script price. It's a life saver for sure.
   We are also making some other serious decisions in our life. We've had an interesting year and things are finally finding their groove and to be honest..we are one happy little family. We are blessed to have each other, that my Mom is so involved and caring, that we have good friends and that my brother not only survived his deployment and even though he lost his hearing in one ear..he's alive and home till time to move to Cali. Our thanksgiving isn't in just Nov....it's EVERY day :)