New Year's Eve fun..

  We don't do a ton for New Year's Eve but we do have a "little party" here..just us. Kaya helped me make the cheese roll ups, the bacon wrapped sandwiches (our fave but not Steve's lol due to it having mushroom soup in it!),homemade sherbet punch and Mexican cheese dip. We had chips to go with it and regular dip so it was pretty much just snacking whenever we wanted all evening. 
   Kaya LOVED it and I gained big points by having pink noise makers and party cups ;) She sat all the plates/cups etc out on the counter and made "menus" for us ;) She drew Mother Nature holding Baby New Year's hand. It was cute. She of course donned her pink dress and was doubly excited when I told her I picked up a pkg of pink cardboard tiaras! Poor Bella, our dog, even had to wear one! LOL
   Steve of course was not so much in the party mood. He had ALOT of dental work done on Monday evening. They pulled a lower jaw tooth on the left, filled a jaw tooth on the left, pulled a jaw tooth on the bottom right and put collagen plugs into both the holes where they pulled teeth!! Dr M said he did awesome and the stitching was more to hold the plugs in while it healed but that he would be sore. And he is! Poor guy. I made him mash potatoes this evening and he had that along with pudding. I'm thankful my Mom switched her days off and gave up her rare Saturday off to be home with Kaya on Tuesday. I didn't have to miss work and Steve could just rest/not chase after Kaya.
  Kaya was determined to see the New Year in ...but didn't make it ;) At 11:45 she was snuggled up with her stuffed sea turtle in the chair...out cold snoozing LOL Tucked her into bed after the ball dropped and I followed soon after.
   2013 was not a perfect year. We had our moments, our hard times, our lean times but it was 365 days of being together, waking up every morning, love, kindness and laughs. I'm very thankful that we had more positives than negatives, that we faced the year as a team, and that I had my little family and the ones I love in my life! We saw babies born, loved ones pass on, my brother move to Cali to start a new adventure. We saw some medical issues, dealt with some hard situations and we've made some hard decisions. But we did every step of the way TOGETHER :)

Christmas Day at the Hacienda...and family

  Every year as a child my Mom would make cinnamon rolls for Cmas morning breakfast. I continue this tradition with Kaya and today was no different. As soon as we did gifts, the rolls were in the oven and going .
  Kaya fought hard going to sleep last night. She was exhausted and cranky and finally gave it up about 11:30 and went to bed! I dozed off only to be woke up at almost 1 to help finish up some odd n ends and make sure the gifts were all under the tree. Needless to say when Kaya bounded out of bed at 6:30 I was already up ..but Daddy was a bit slower moving lol
  Her face was PRICELESS when she saw the tree, the gifts and her stocking. The fact that Santa remembered treats for her tortoise and for her dog ;) was an added bonus. She opened her gift from "santa" first...it was her purple wooden acoustic guitar she had asked for. Talk about excited and then lecturing everyone to not break it, not twist the dials at the top etc. Next came her gift shipped from Uncle J...her new Furby Boom. Oh my! Kaya about spazzed out when she opened it! She was in amazement that her uncle knew what she wanted ;). Kaya got gifts she had never thought of..new Monster High headphones for use with the ipad etc, monster high shower set for her dolls,and of course her Flappies or whatever it's called hat lol She's a very blessed little girl!
  After all the gift opening we had cinnamon rolls and relaxed for a bit. Mixed up some biscuits and got them in a pan ready to go to my Uncles.
   After dropping my Dad off we headed to my Mom's family for a huge meal and get together. We originally had planned no gifts but my Uncle being my Uncle lol decided to give a 20 dollar bill to each one of his great nieces and nephews! They were a happy bunch. My cousin also got each kid a stocking filled with oranges (;) and little things. Kaya was on cloud nine.
   The meal was awesome...turkey,ham, duck and all the fixings as well as dessert. We were all miserable.
   This year my cousin set up a table for the kids to do crafts and they had a ball!! They each made a Cmas tree complete with ornaments etc. It was nice to see all the kids having fun together.
   Headed home later in the afternoon, had to go through water to get home thanks to all the rain and the river/creeks coming back out!!! and decided to spend the rest of the day relaxing and letting Kaya play with her new toys. Kaya got a surprise visit from her aunt and two cousins to drop off her gifts from her other grandpa and some play time.
  Cmas day went great and everyone had a blast! Thankful for family time, for all the smiles and giggles from Kaya, and for an evening of relaxing together. I think the pics below speak well of our last two days :)

Cmas eve

Cmas Morning

Cmas afternoon

Christmas Eve at the Hacienda

  Lucky me (note the sarcasm) had to work till 4pm today. I've not stressed at all all holiday season long but was beginning to worry if I could pull off supper on the table at 5ish! Walked in the door at 4:15 to see my hubby deep frying the turkey with my Dad helping and Eth and Em :) My mom in law bought a sliced ham, my Mom got to work peeling potatoes (the one thing I do NOT like to do lol) and Em made the biscuits while I did the sides etc. Everything came together smoothly..with lots of laughs ...and we sat down to eat our feast at 5:30ish. We had deep fried Creole/Cajun turkey, half the ham cold/half the ham baked with a bit of Coke poured over it, mash potatoes, baked beans, green bean casserole (I hate it lol but I always make it for everyone else that does like it),biscuits, coleslaw,and mac n cheese. Not too bad of a spread considering everything was homemade but the mac n cheese :) 
   Everyone had a great meal and then we did gifts. I think the best gift moments were when Kaya opened her doll from my Dad  and screamed so loud the neighbors probably heard!! She told Ethan "I've been wanting this my whole entire life. My whole life!" ;) The other one was when Em realized her book was...the family history book she had been wanting. Her face lit up and she dove right into it. We all got several nice things and I'm very happy to get a new sewing machine from my mother in law. I normally sew by hand but I've been wanting to do more projects and I think I'll like it :) 
   I really think the best "moment" for the whole evening was just us being together. The meal was great, the gifts were fun and well liked..but the company was AWESOME. This is the first Cmas eve since my Granny has died that I felt...right. I know that may sound funny but the first year she was gone I missed her so much it was insane. The second year it was chaos and drama and tears were too often. This year..things just feel into place, the moments were right and peaceful. I know many cannot say it but this year we had no stress, no pressure, no worries and a perfect Cmas eve. 
   I can say my best gift was having my kiddos under one roof for awhile. Em is 16, Eth is 18 and technically not babies anymore but they will always be my babies. I've never NOT had Cmas eve with them and seeing them together with Kaya...made my evening. Very thankful too that my mil felt well enough to come and join the fun. That my Dad could get out from behind high water to share in the time and to spend the night. Kaya was on cloud nine that Pappaw was going to spend the night :) That I had my Mom, my husband and my kiddo. The only thing missing was my brother but we got to talk for 3 hrs yesterday and I'm thankful for that. I miss him so much it's nuts but I'm so very proud of him :) Kaya of course had no idea how her Uncle knew she wanted a Furby Boom ;)
  Wonderful Cmas eve and if Kaya will finally give in and go to sleep...Santa can visit for in the morning ;)

Family Traditions

   I love listening to people talk about their family traditions for things, especially the holidays. I think it's interesting how each family has their little thing, whether it's Midnight Mass, big meals, a certain decoration, that makes their holiday.
   Some families have no traditions or buck the sense of tradition and if that makes them happy that fine. But to me, tradition isn't holding onto something outdated or failure to create your own...it's holding onto the life that created you and you flex it in with your own new family traditions..and it makes your family "yours"!
    Growing up we always had oranges and peanuts in our stockings. Back then money was tight on Mom and Dad and oranges and peanuts wasn't too expensive, we all ate them and it was easy filler for a stocking. I just thought every house did that (all my cousins got the same thing lol) until I got older and kids talked about expensive items in their stockings...and I thought that was so weird lol So every year we put an orange in Kaya's stocking. She gets a few little things in there she wants (this year a puzzle, candy, a stuffed animal) but nothing huge. The orange to me back then was just normal things and now it keeps me attached to my roots. It's simplicity, it's teaching Kaya that she won't get everything she wants and it passes on a tradition of appreciation. Matter of fact this year she even asked for an orange ;)
    We always hiked out to the woods with my parents to find the right tree. Then we'd laugh as Dad had to pin that Charlie Brown tree to the wall lol EVERY year ;) My brother and I would sit for hours making paper chains, stringing popcorn. It was our garland and decorations back in the day and now it's crafts we do with Kaya. 
   I grew up with huge family meals for Cmas eve and Cmas day. I can still see the dusty farm hats lined up on the back of the couch as we sat down to eat. Us kids eating as fast as we could to get back outside. Excitedly opening gifts of coveralls, winter socks, new gloves..and being just as happy as if it was a huge electronic gift now! We rarely got frivolous items and back then we needed the things we got. 
   Now having my own family I have some of my own traditions. I still carry on the orange thing and I make a pan of cinnamon rolls every Cmas morning and Thanksgiving morning just like my Mamma did ;) for us but we do a few things differently. At first it was hard on me...we just "always" did things that way and it was never an issue on family events etc because we lived on Grandpa W's farm and our neighbors the next ridge over was Grandpa R's farm!!! So family was just THERE. 
   So now we don't trek out in the woods, yet lol, for our tree but I can see that same excited glow from Kaya's eyes, much like mine as a child, when we light up our tree. Special ornaments hang on there just like ours did when we were little. We still laugh and have fun doing it and we do crafts with Kaya all season, all year long! Our meals have changed a bit as for the last two years we've done Cmas eve at home with the passing of Granny...but I know my grandparents are sitting up there in Heaven smiling at the nutty brood they helped create. We get together Cmas day with my Mom's family and now the farm is my Uncle's. We still have the huge meal. We look around the table and see the blessings my grandparents started way back in the day..and we smile at the blessings we still have. 
   We pass on our traditions, our laughter and our love, to the next generation as they play and eat together.
  Steve's family just started this year having Thanksgiving together and it was awesome! I hope it will continue. We normally have Cmas with his mother's side in Dec before the actual holiday but it was understandably different this year but I always enjoying being with them for the holiday too. I'm thankful for everyone that makes memories with Kaya and shares their life with us! 
  I think too many people fret that Cmas has to be "perfect", has to look like what you see on tv or in a magazine. There is no perfect Cmas and you can't fill it up with material items, stress and fretting. Every households Cmas if perfect for them and filling it with love, laughter and memories will make our own children's list of blessings much longer than their memories of what gifts they received ;)

Exactly

   Saw this post a few days back and I've been mulling it over since then. I immediately wanted to post it then I thought does it sound harsh, sound like I'm being pushy? Then I thought forget it I'm posting it. The ones it may apply to probably wouldn't see themselves in the post and I like the quote.
   The quote made me realize how I've held onto the thought that I was going to get an apology...that those two words.."I'm sorry"..was somehow the magic cure all and band aid to the situations that have occurred. Somehow my mind formulated that if they said they were sorry all would be well. But my brain was saying "No, you'd never take it as serious anyway. You'd be fine till the next time it happens." and to be honest I've held out on alot of things over the last yearish and...it was time to...
       Think as if I had received an apology. It was time I gave myself the freedom to be over the deal, the permission to let my happiness and my little families happiness be the center of my life..not that feeling that I wasn't doing something right, that feeling of being judged or honestly just flat out ignored.
   Mom always says that those that wrong you unless they truly are sorry and know their behavior is wrong..won't apologize so why stew over it. Steve had told me to just let it go, live our life and others can find their own path. That what they consider normal isn't our normal and we won't change it.
  So I like the quote and I think I'm going to just live life that way.

Amazing how...

  Amazing how one small picture can bring back such a flood of memories. While making a book for my cousin for Cmas I have been going through pictures. This one where we made biscuits was on there. Looking at the picture I could feel myself choking back tears..but I could also feel myself smiling.
   That simple little metal biscuit cutter with the worn out red handle was my Granny's. In the 33 yrs that I got to be her sidekick I never saw her ever use any other cutter..and that cutter had cut a LOT of biscuits lol 
    I'm almost certain Granny wore out that red handle twisting out biscuits for her family, her grandkids and eventually her great grandkids. When she passed my cousin found it in her drawer in the kitchen and said that she knew I should have it :)
   I remember standing on a stool at the counter in the kitchen or sitting in the chair at the table and helping Granny knead out dough, talking and laughing, flour everywhere. When she was done she'd always run her finger down the seam of the table to get the flour out. It was the funniest thing to get to help Granny and as an adult it was a privilege to get to make "her" biscuits on a Sunday afternoon or a Saturday morning. If we had a snow day..it was homemade biscuits lol
    Now it's the third generation biscuit maker ;) holding that cutter...Kaya. It's fun to be able to tell her the story that goes with the item in her hand. She'll ask "Is this how Nanny did it Mamma?" :) 
    When people worry about what to live their kids in their will and all that jazz it's often the small little things that are overlooked. I didn't get money, I didn't get too much at all..but I got a biscuit cutter and a small wooden recipe box with a broken hinge on one side. Both hold more memories and mean more to me than any amount of money. I don't often get in the box for recipes...I've fixed them so many times I've got them memorized..but the little box sits on my kitchen shelf. Inside is recipes with flour thumb prints from Granny, wrote in her perfect sloping handwriting. Newspaper articles or recipes that sparked her interest. My biscuit cutter is in my kitchen drawer and used alot. 
    I can say that little box and that worn out metal cutter holds more memories to me than any thing I could have got. :)
    As an adult you look back and realize just how lucky and blessed you were and how blessed you still are. In one way Granny lives on because Kaya is really a good bread/biscuit maker :)
   

My nutty husband

   For someone reason it sparked Steve this evening that we should make homemade popcorn balls. We've never made them before but have an easy recipe. Mind you the man decided that since I was off on Tuesday then we should just do them now..at 10:00 at night! LOL Thankfully I'm off tomorrow and I have a good sense of humor lol
   For our first attempt we didn't do too bad but I can say that we let it cool a bit too much before trying to shape them so we ended up with some popcorn balls and some...popcorn scatter LOL But it tasted fairly good.
  
 

Our popcorn ball..mess lol
I also found to never assume that the sugar/syrup mix is cool at the bottom simply cause it's cool at the top!! Thankfully no burns but it hurt!

But we had a few good laughs, got to spend time together and try out a new recipe. The joys of life are sometimes the small ones you don't think about :)

Crafts for Christmas

 

  Gathered up all the ingredients for Snowman Soup and one curly  headed girl for assistance and made Snowman Soup bags :) We used instant hot chocolate packets, marshmallows for the snowballs, chocolate chips for the snowman kisses (Kaya said it was coal lol) and put them all in baggies. We then printed out our labels complete with Snowman Soup poem and used a hole punch to make the hole, slid the ribbon through the hole/label hole and attached a candy cane :) We decided to also add something special.

 With my adorable assistant we dipped leftover spoons from her bday party (they had never been used lol to clarify that lol) into melted almond bark (chocolate) and let dry. Then we redipped them for a good coating. We wrapped them in plastic wrap and tied them with the ribbon to the package. When they stir their hot chocolate the chocolate on the spoon will melt too ;)

 Our finished product! Love how they came out!! Kaya was super impressed and even more excited because I "accidently" ;) made an extra dipped spoon for her :)  Giving these to the dental office staff, the mail lady and to round out some other homemade gifts :) 

  I loved the simplicity of the project, getting to work with Kaya and the fact that sometimes after a long day a cup of cocoa is what someone needs!! I know many nights I do when it's cold. Also love that it teaches Kaya to give to others and to use her head and heart behind a gift not just money.

New recipe

  Gave a new biscuit recipe a try this evening. Steve thinks the ONLY bread you can have with a meal is biscuits. They have to be Grands or homemade lol  He despises dinner rolls and thinks crescents are a joke (he's a funny funny man) so I keep freezer biscuits in the freezer for quick use and usually have a can of the store bought ones in the fridge. But fixed supper this evening and thought I'd give this recipe a try.
   Preheat oven to 425. In a 9x13 cake pan pour 1/2 cup of melted butter. It will stand in the pan and that's fine. In a bowl mix 4 cups of Bisquick (I used the generic version), 1 cup of sour cream, and 1 cup of 7 up. Mix together then knead the dough on a floured surface. Pat your dough out and use a biscuit cutter * cut out round biscuits and arrange in the pan. Mine touched and did fine. Matter of fact the frugal side of me (Thanks Granny lol) I even made odd sized biscuits and worked them into the edge spaces! LOL Bake at 425 for 12 to 15 minutes or until browned on top. I then sprayed them with spray butter lightly as soon as they came out of the oven!
   At first I was worried about all that butter in the pan and the turnout being soggy biscuits. Good grief no!! They were done, moist and honestly like KFC's biscuits! Steve ate more of them than he did anything ..he ate so many I thought he was going to pop! And told me to save the recipe (!!!) SO I consider them a good hit. 
   I served mine with white beans, baked kielbasa, fried potatoes and onion slices. But they would go great with any meal. 
   * If you don't have a round cookie cutter or a biscuit cutter simply flour the mouth of a glass and cut them out. I can say I have a prized biscuit cutter..my Granny's...and it has seen a ton of biscuits over it's life time :) 

Christmas gift project

   My cousin has requested a family history book this year for Christmas. Not just dates and marriage records,she wants all that and the stories etc. At first I wasn't sure how I was going to tackle it but I've already got two sides of her Great grandma done and it's actually going well.
  I divided the book into four sections..her great grandma's mother's side and father side as two chapters and then her great grandfather's mom's side and Dad's side as the other two. The last chapter will be her great grandma and Grandpa's story together :) I'm adding pics of family to each section then at the end of the book I'm going to put a religion/tradition/recipe section to give it even more "family feel".
  To say I'm enjoying this project is an understatement!! I love that I have family history on one side all the way back to the old country and the crusades and I like the challenge of one side being American Indian (Native American) and trying to piece that together. I love showing Kaya the pictures and talking about family and stories.
  So I'm thankful my cousin asked for this project. I'm most thankful that she wants to hold onto the stories, the traditions and the recipes and pass them down to another generation! I am very big on things like that. Family history isn't merely numbers and dates..births and deaths..it's feelings and emotional attachment even if you don't "know" the person. It's carrying on stories that keep our family linage alive, their struggles and their successes. That dna that survived the ships to immigrate to the US, that dna that was already here and fought to keep off the reservation, that dna that survived the Depression, World Wars, those genetics that knew how it was to be Indian in a white world, a "mixed breed" in both worlds, rich white and poor white all trickle down to form who we are today. I would be nothing without the family that came before me..and my lineage will continue on with Kaya and any other children we may have one day.
  So the project is moving along well and I'm actually excited to see her face when she gets it :) 

Kaya's great great great grandpa on the farm on butchering day

 This is just one of MANY pictures that I have. They are one of my favorite things...I look at them and see alot of life back then. I'm also thankful to have the pictures because they humble me when I feel like "what next". These men and women worked ten times harder than most of us and still smiled :)
   
  I'm very thankful that I have pictures that go all the way back to Kaya's 5th great grandparents and one day she will have them. :)

We got...

Lots and lots of..snow!! By Friday evening we had 10 inches in the front yard and 11 to 12 inches in the side yard!! Not the best snow for making a snowman but on Saturday...
 We did lots of sledding between warming up breaks lol Kaya LOVES sledding and made multiple trips down the hill on her polar bear sled, trudged back to the top and zoomed down again! She was all smiles. Then Daddy got out the intertube and the fun was on!! The child zoomed down the hill, over the drainage ditch and into the front yard cackling like crazy!! We couldn't help but laugh at the faces she made! We of course had to make a few runs and then Kaya had to ride down on Daddy's lap.
  Love how she is an outdoor kid and her giggles when she came in. She told us "My thermals are sticking to my bottom!!!" and didn't waste anytime getting out of her wet clothes. 
  Love how she enjoys whatever life tosses at us and how she reminds us to find the fun no matter what :) :)

Sometimes you have to see the beauty

  I'm always amazed at how quickly people grumble and groan over winter. We know it's going to come and that we've been lucky to have some rather unseasonable weather lately..and few cold/heavy snow winters for a bit. I know it makes travel a little slower, some bodies ache a little more, and it makes me worry about people having a home or heat but.....
     We see and appreciate God's handiwork when the first bloom of spring opens. We are amazed at how fresh the rain smells, how green everything is. The rain gives way to the hot, dry days of summer and we are excited with outdoor activities and feel blessed to feel the sun. Come fall the days start getting shorter and cooler but we see the beauty in the multi colored leaves. We find positives by using our time hunting for pumpkins and having bonfires. Then winter rolls in and the first snow we start griping. But winter serves a purpose spiritually, soulfully and nature wise. How often do we just stop and see the beauty of the falling snow, how each individual snow flake falls, how the snow glitters when light hits it. How often do we enjoy the child like pleasure of seeing your breath in the air or making a snow angel.
   Yes winter can bring sickness but it can also bring a new way to see the same ole thing..and maybe test our true ability to see small blessings. Even small blessings in the things that seem hard.
   I know Steve hates the cold (always has but since his MS it stiffens up his muscles) but I love the first true, real snow. I love to see how the snow glitters in the light. The perfect stillness. The soft flakes falling. Biblically we know that the winter should be celebrated and has a reason. ( Ecclesiastes 3.1-8)
   

As I went out to feed our cat I was blessed to see the sun coming through the trees. How the snow made the sky even brighter. How lucky I was to have a few minutes of quiet, my glass of sweet tea and my sweeties (Steve and Kaya) snuggled in bed all nice and warm. I love sunrises..they remind me to count my blessings that I am alive to see a new day start..and that I have the chance to make a new day fun and exciting.

  This evening as we wrapped up sledding I got to see this sunset. Sunsets always remind me that even though I go to bed I have another new day tomorrow. Winter sun sets seem to pop. The snow begins to shadow and the sun starts easing down. Maybe winter was created to remind us how to keep rhythm in our day? We all tend to hurry about, overwork, over think and over worry. Maybe winter is a gentle reminder to take our time, to enjoy the small things and to pull our family closer?
    Today I was lucky to know my two lovelies got to sleep in snuggled under blankets in a warm home, I got to have my glass of tea in perfect stillness, I got to see the sun break through the trees, I got to enjoy the day sledding and laughing with two of my favorite people then this evening after watching the sunset I got to enjoy a mug of hot chocolate, fix supper and then make an apple crisp we all enjoyed. Maybe to some that sounds like dull blessings but I was blessed with the love of family, the ability to feed my family, good food, a warm home, a soft bed and nature to remind me to be thankful and happy. 
   Sounds like a wonderful day to me :)

Snow!!

 They predicted anywhere from 3 to 6 inches of snow. We definitely hit that mark plus some. By Friday evening spots in the front yard showed  91.2 inches, some 10 inches and a few on the side where it drifted nearly 12 inches of the lovely white stuff.
  Coming home from work Friday night was a bear. No lanes, not even on the main highway, completely rutted and slushed in some spots, solid ice in others. I had to use 4 wheel drive to pull the hill before our drive and then to ease into our drive. Our lovely driveway goes uphill, turns to the left then comes out on the side of a hill! Yeah fun when roads are nasty. After getting home, warming up for a bit Kaya begged for "one more time" in the snow. She had a ball. Steve said she had already been out 2 times before I got home from work. I got a call Friday morning at work saying "Mamma, it snoooooweed!! Daddy is going to bundle me up and we are going to go outside..after he makes a pot of hot chocolate!!" :) Made my day to hear her so excited.
  Saturday , today, has been no extra snow but frigid cold. Temp combined with clear skies, snow and a wind chill factor made it feel as if it was 0 to -4 later in the evening. We let Kaya go sledding before it got too cold and she had a ball. Didn't like that we only let her make a few trips today but even though she was bundled...hat, gloves, shirt, thermal shirt, zip up,coat, pants, thermal pants, undies and socks lol, it was still cold!
   

  All in all a fun day. Wrapped up the evening by fixing a homemade apple crisp. Our apple order came in this week and Kaya loves apples period. She asked that we have "banilla ice cream" on top lol so we did. Love the mix of crisp topping with the sweet apples and melty ice cream :)

Sad day

    Last night at 11:30 Mimi went home to Heaven. Hated to find that news out but thankful she was no longer suffering. Mimi was super active, on the go happy person. When they took off part of her foot she began to go down hill.
   Kaya got up when I got up this morning for work. She was standing in the doorway and told me "Mamma, I had a dream last night. In the dream someone I love very much died. I know it wasn't Pappaw cause I talked to him last night". I know I probably had my mouth open. So I told her that we would talk about it after work this evening. Kaya was fast asleep when we got word Mimi had passed and we decided to not tell her till after work this evening. So maybe Mimi came to her dreams to say goodbye..they were best buds :)
   Sat Kaya down this evening and explained to her that Mimi had passed. At first she was playing with her phone and not really catching what we were saying. We didn't push it just stated it and let it go. A few hours later Kaya crawled up in my lap and asked if Mimi passing away meant she was dead. We explained to her yes, she was. That she was now in Heaven..whole, healthy and happy. That she would watch over her and that she'd be a star like Nanny in the night sky. Hearing your kiddo cry that cry..is hard. You spend so much time keeping them safe, shielding them from hurt/danger...then life tosses you one that you cannot easily fix. It seems unfair at such a tender age to feel that hurt..but..then again how blessed was Mimi to have Kaya and Kaya to have Mimi? Those feelings will last long after the hurt.
  So we answered questions honestly. Even the odd off the wall ones (what happens to your tongue when you die). We explained in Heaven you get a new body with no aches or pains and you are happy. We told her it was up to her if she went to the funeral home for visitation. If she chose not to go we'd take her to the cemetery at a later date so she could put flowers on the grave.
  She had a few more tearful moments this evening but for the most part is doing ok. I told her that memories are always with you. That me and her Daddy have no grandparents left and that she is very lucky to have Mammaw W and Grandma T. That Mimi and Nanny are watching her and are happy. 
  She asked the hardest question..."How am I suppose to be happy that someone I loved is no longer alive?" How do we expect a child to understand when even as adults we have times we feel the same way. So we explained to her that you have to be happy that they no longer hurt and that they have found peace. That you can still feel them hug you at times and they are always in your heart.
  Those words seemed to answer her question so we have left it at that.

Long weekend of fun and some rough times

   Saturday after our Thanksgiving meal we received word that Mimi was not doing well at all. Mimi is Steve's aunt's mother in law but she is more like a grandma to us. We go almost every Saturday to the nursing home to see her and we take her special things...homemade chicken n dumplings, candy whatever she'd like. Kaya has always adored her but when her Nanny passed away they became very tight. So when we heard they were calling the family in Sat evening and asking them not to leave much we decided to pass our blessings on. We fixed Aunt and Uncle a plate heaping with food, a baggie of rolls and headed to the nursing home.
  Mimi had went comatose Saturday afternoon. She wasn't drinking or eating and had asked that no life support/ivs be used. It was very hard seeing Mimi just sleeping. Kaya still didn't feel great so we sat for a bit then headed home.
  Sunday we decided to make Christmas cookies. Steve is the best cookie maker and I've yet to ever taste a bad cookie (minus the ones that were made with old baking soda lol) he's made. Kaya asked if her Grandma T could come help so we called her up, pulled out the mixing bowl, ingredients, cutters, icing, decorations and whipped up some tasty homemade sugar cookies. Kaya was a little amazed that Grandma T had never made them so she "taught her how to do it". It was fun. 
  Kaya tossing the dough ball from one hand to the other. Steve does this to prep the dough. Kaya rolled the dough out carefully with her rolling pin. Steve says the key is uniform cookies and no thin edges.  

Kaya cut out designs. She did stockings, Cmas trees and snowmen. She did a pretty good job. 
  Then she decorated them with either white, red or green icing. I buy up on cookie/cake decorations after the holidays (sprinkles etc go to 50% or more off!!) so she had plenty of choices for her cookies.  We also did a few with just chocolate mint baking chips.

Her cookies came out very cute. Grandma T got a good lesson lol and had a great time as well. We decided to take a pan to the nursing staff at the nursing home and a pan to Steve's family that was sitting at the nursing home so they would have snacks. Both groups greatly appreciated them. We sat for over an hour with the family. Mimi was not looking any better. Kaya had made her a picture so she "showed" it to Mimi and sat by her bed talking to her. Very hard on our hearts. She had asked that we "not let Mimi leave because I won't have a Mimi or a Nanny!" So very hard indeed. 

  Once home we explained to Kaya what was going on and answered her questions. I don't want to see Mimi suffer but it's so hard to let the ones we love go.