Reality hits lol

   For some odd reason my mind wondered over some posts online and then it hit me..I am almost certain round up for Kindergarten is in April. APRIL!! Like 2 1/2 months from now April! So of course freaking out inside I do what every normal woman does lol I text my brother in Cali and my two best friends. Mind you my two best friends, even though my age, both have older kids. One's son was 21 in Jan and the others son was 18 lol so I'm the one with the "baby" per say. So I often turn to them for life phases advice lol and general venting. Friendships that have spanned almost 29 years or more..yep I'm one lucky lady :)
  Anyway I text my brother in Cali with the message "I think April is Kindergarten roundup!!!" to which he responded "Ok that is great." To which I frantically text "WHAT!!!??? Did you read that whole text? I have..a hive!" ( I get hives when I'm very stressed/nervous..sometimes just one and sometimes many more!) I could see him in my mind laughing on the train into LA over his sister's panic lol and that made me laugh ;) He text back and said "I read it. Kaya is awesome. She'll do great. You will do great". Texts came back from my best buds..one saying her eldest son was giving her some issues with college, the other friend saying her only son was leaving the nest in less than 7 months and we all need to get together ASAP and vent lol Those two always make me smile.
  In truth I know Kaya will do great. Do I have some worries? Yes, Kaya isn't always the typical 5 yr old girl and I cherish the fact that she is 100% authentic. But I know school isn't always easy for the "authentic ones". I know her school will be much, much larger than the school I attended but I'm thinking that will shock me, not her as it's all she'll know unless we move to a smaller school system or go private school etc.
  I've always said that I will bend and be fluid..not some rigid stick in the mud parent that thinks everything is freak out worthy but I can admit letting my baby leave the safety of our house, our care, our guidance has made me wake up 3 times in the last couple of months in a cold sweat. But I have to deal with it and not let Kaya know that I worry. I have to be fluid and go with the flow or I hold up her progress. Even if it's hard to smile and say it will be great.
  She did ask if other kids laugh at her what should she do. We told her flat out the truth. That once in awhile someone will make fun of you, someone will tease you and some will even laugh out loud but guess what it's their issue not hers. That I have been teased, that Daddy has been teased..that even today we as adults have dealt with other adults that thought name calling or degrading a person was how you handled something. We told her to let it roll off her, be nice to people and if the kid makes her uncomfortable or threatens her to immediately tell her teacher and us. Then adults will take it from there. (Inside I was screaming.."I will rip that little bully's face off and stuff it in his Mamma's purse" lmbo but I can't let Kaya think you can think that way lol)
   So hive went away,laughs came and my brother had several wonderful texts taunting me LOL
 

Day One of vacation

 Well day one has been a hit :) Honestly I could sit on the couch staring at the ceiling and as long as I was home with my family I'd be happy lol so to some our daily lives may seem odd or boring but it's "us" and it's perfect for us and we strive to improve, enjoy and be in the present every day!
  Today I decided to tackle Kaya's toys. We had done the garage totes before Cmas but her room and toy box needed some TLC. Plus she is a mini hoarder lol She loves to keep every box from every toy and will often say "Do we really need to throw that away it has to have another use??!!" Granted I know she picks up some of that from us due to we reuse a lot of things or build one thing out of another thing but there are limits! lol
  So we tackled her inside toys and her space looks awesome!! Bags(the child loves gift bags) all put inside one bag and stored in her closet. Toys back in the box and her desk cleared off. Her dollhouse put in "her" order furniture wise lol
  I can say at first it wasn't easy with a sidekick questioning each item but then it got easier. I was also lovingly woke up EARLY by her saying "we need to get up. Are you ready to get up?" lol so it took me a bit to get into the groove.
  But it looks awesome now. Even made her a reading spot complete with her overstuffed chair/footstool and lamp. She REALLY liked that :)
  I also had my yearly drs apt today and since I've had 4 yrs of good exams after I had my LEEP procedure I can now just do one part of the exam every 3 yrs so that is a plus. My bpressure was good (that was my worry...I had been having issues with it in the late fall) and I have lost 10lbs :) So I'm chalking it up as an excellent visit. Steve says I'm adopting his let things go philosophy and that is what helped my bpressure lol I do think in the last 2 mo or so that I have felt that inner stress relax.
  We drove down to my Dad's today for a visit since the weather was nice and Kaya had been wanting badly to see her Pappaw. It was a nice visit. Her Pappaw surprised her with a keychain (she loves them lol) and a new pick for her guitar! She had fun playing checkers, visiting and playing with his dog. We staked out where we are going to do our big garden down there, where we are putting out rabbit traps and how we want to do our chicken house down there. We are going to have a small one here and a bigger one down there :) Dad is going to take care of it all during the week since I can't drive down there every evening but we'll do the weekends etc then we will share out of it. I'm hoping to get enough to put up lots of juice etc. Eventually we want to expand down there with fruit trees so we can do our own preserves etc.
   Then back home for date night. Sad little eyes, big hugs and we managed to have a curly headed chaperone. lol We decided to do tonight as family date night and do our date night later in the week. We are not huge eat out people so it's a treat for Kaya too. We chose Chinese and had a great time. I had to laugh when she told me "I'm glad you got to go on mine and Daddy's date." :) She simply adores him and him her. She always tries new things when we go out and she did pretty good. I had to laugh when she bit into the middle of one and it was not what she thought it was LOL
  Wrapped up the evening by letting her pick out a free kids movie at the rental store and we got a movie to watch later too.
  So it's been a great Monday :) I have some to do items on my list for the week but fun is one of the main things :)

I...We..made it :)

  When that clock hit 2pm this afternoon (Weekends are a lovely 5am to 2pm shift) I was literally skipping out of work. As Kaya would say "We made it Mamma..it's vacation time!"
  There are no huge plans for vacation other than being home. We may work on the pantry but that will depend on how Steve feels. If he's up to it then that is one project we may start. I will have to paint the wall behind where we take the counter out so that will require it to dry etc. So we'll see.
  I do plan on purging out some things and getting some to do things marked off the list. I have a drs apt on Monday but other than that there is no schedule the whole week.
  I told Kaya we are tackling toys...she said that was not the fun idea she had lol I also told her she could go with me to deliver a baby blanket we made :)
  We may go to see her Pappaw, may take her out to eat and we may do a date night. Rare occurance around here lol We also have to lay out how we are going to do the garden and get some seeds ordered.
  Mainly I am just going to enjoy being home with my sweet family :)There really is nothing like it :)

Kaya's cooking show

Kaya has been having a ball making pretend videos lately and she has been doing her own cooking show. She'll pull her footstool up to the counter, get out the mixing bowl and utensils and pretend cook. She talks as if she's hosting a show, talks about her ingredients etc. It's adorable to listen to. Tonight she said she was measuring out butter...just a pat she said of yellow butter ;) and that she had one retainer cup of milk. Explained to her that it was a measuring cup and she goes "I call it a retainer cup because it retains the milk. That is the right use of the word right?" I had to smile. Yes it was! Her thought process always keeps me guessing.
  I also love to listen to her when she "cooks" or plays...often as parents we don't realize how much our children "watch and learn" from us. She will repeat the same things I do or Steve says and it's cool to see her remember those things/moments. I'm also thankful that she has her own twist on things and always keeps life interesting!

One of those weeks..

  It has been one of those weeks. One of those weeks where I find myself taking a few extra breaths, adjusting my outlook on life, and pulling up the big girl panties so to speak.
  It's just been one of those weeks where Steve has felt awful. His dental work is still giving him issues and he's on syringe number two for dry sockets. Add into that that the cold stiffens him up and he's felt more tired and forgetful this week. It comes and goes from time to time and is one of the lovely things with MS. We've found that he just writes down important messages or relays them immediately to me at work so I know what is going on. Thankfully it's just a sometimes thing and usually only with phone calls.
  Work wise I'm flat into a 7 day stretch. I try to keep seeing the light at the end of the tunnel...vacation!! :)...but 7 days stink lol Kaya HATES them with a passion. By Saturday she's thinking I need to take Sunday off. I remind her I only do them once a month. Work has went smoother since the weather has calmed and holidays are done. Even delivery guys are happier lol so that's a plus.
  So I've found myself mentally listing that I am a pretty lucky woman. Really who else in the world has the curly headed miracle I have snuggled up on my lap? Yes, every mother has their own miracle and every single one is special...but your own child is indeed the one miracle no one else has! So I have a beautiful little girl that is full of spunk, good health, giggles and a bit of sass. Even on her trying days..and there has been some in the last few weeks...her strong headness reminds me of how lucky I am to have a child that will hopefully never be pushed around. Who else has the husband I have? Yes all us married gals have a great husband in some form...but mine is mine lol Even on our hardest days we still make each other smile over something even if it's some silly thing like our tortoise kicking it's back leg like a dog when we pet it LOL Who else has the life I have? Yep every single one of us have our own personal lives, our own system, our own awesome way of living...but no one has MY life.
  Maybe sometimes we should all look at it that way. No one in the world is lucky enough to have exactly what each of us has. We all have different styles, different meals, different home lives, different work and the list goes on...but we each have our own special life.
   So tonight while I'm feeling tired and a bit on the stress side ;) I'm thankful to have what I have.

Crazy weather

  2014 has started with a bang! Weather reports have been going crazy with the snow amounts and I often wonder why MORE people don't worry about the cold number! -35 here tomorrow with the wind-chill factor! That means a lot of bundling up for work since I'm not tucked into a warm cozy office lol But very thankful that I am not out in it like street/highway workers or utility workers!
  The Almanac forecasted higher precipitation amounts and cold to very bitterly cold temps for 2014...I guess no one read that huh? lol
  Snow doesn't bother me too much but I don't want a ton of ice/sleet mix.
  They have changed us I believe I counted 7 times since last night. We are suppose to get less than an inch of snow today or 1 to 3 inches or 3 to 5 inches or 7 inches or maybe 8. None of them can agree on the amount. Now I did like the map that showed how many loaves of bread you may need...that was cute :)
  People have went nuts clearing completely counters in the stores, pushing, shoving and being rude. Some stations up north have ran out of gas. People were going nuts for "more eggs, more coffee, more toilet paper" when I ran into the store yesterday to grab mushrooms for a pizza I was making.
  Snow I can handle but I wonder if people really give thought to the temperature. -35 will kill a pet or a human fast. I wonder if they are in such a frenzy to check on their elderly neighbor or to make sure if they see the neighbor kid out in it to watch to see if he/she gets home ok? To check and make sure that people are safe and warm.
  I'm very thankful for heat and for the luxuries I have.

New Year

    Well 2014 is officially here. I know many have wished 2013 out the door with the idea that 2014 will be "the" year. But..to be honest every moment...good or bad..makes your year, your life, your memories. Granted different folks face different things but I personally err on the side that life happens for a reason. You can sit and wish it away, sit and worry, sit and complain..or stand up, face it , count your blessings, see the light and keep going!
  I don't do New Year resolutions. Never have. There is nothing wrong with them but I always feel like so many people make them to turn and break them in a few weeks. Then they feel stressed and like a failure or they never start them and feel bad. I'd rather just chalk it up to a new year of making goals, making memories, enjoying life. 
  I've decided this year that I am holding true to the saying "Sometimes you have to stop sailing oceans for people that won't jump puddles for you". It's been in my mind for a bit and at the end of 2013 it stuck to me alot. That and the fact that I've heard the same 2 songs on the radio every day this week...and to me that is a sign that what I think is right lol May sound silly but I'm going with it :)
   I've found if you try to be a good parent many overlook your family. They feel they don't need to say encouragement, check on you or offer anything because you are "such good parents". In a way yes that is nice but sometimes it gets old very fast that sucky parents, immature adults having kids..are constantly ran after and praised for every miniscule thing they manage to do. 
  I've found that I don't force my religious beliefs down anyone's throats and I don't judge others religious beliefs and in turn that turns some people away. I can listen to what anyone has to say and I don't have to demean how they feel to make myself feel "right"
  I've found that since we don't put on "airs" that some have a hard time with us. I won't talk behind someone's back and then smile to their face. I won't cast a judgement on someone when I don't live their life or I have did the same thing myself. I don't act one way with one group, another with another. I am just me, my family is just themselves. We are quirky, funny and sometimes off the wall....but we are honest, we are real and we are all heart. 
   I've found that standing up for my family has caused issues. At first it bothered me...now I realize it's the OTHER people's issues. I won't ever sit back and let anyone tread on someone I love. And I will not sit back and think someone else is going to control my home, my marriage or my life. What is between these four walls is our business and we don't do others drama.
   I've also found that MS is the ultimate litmus test. It isn't just a chronic disease..it's a test of who will stand beside you when times are hard. When I've needed someone this last year..I was amazed at the ones that stepped away from us. Maybe it's their ignorance of the disease, maybe it's how they handle it..I don't know. I just know that I have a very clear picture of who we have in our lives.
  My little family in the last year has been left out, ignored and at times treated as if we are the issue or that we should handle other's issues...and that is not how we treat others.
  For a long time it made my heart sad and finally was starting to make me bitter....then I realized that I don't have to approve, I don't have to smile and go along with things...but I have to forgive and move on or it affects me, not them. 
  So for now on we are not doing all the contacting, we are not doing all the filling in, the leg work. Between texts, phones, email and the ability to visit...some others are going to have to learn to ask how we are, to involve us or they can figure out why we are not there. I'm no longer going to be upset over months of being ignored, of Kaya not being included or treated the same as others, or hurt because I only have a limited group of people that I CAN rely on...I'm simply going to enjoy my little family, our time together and keep on being me!! I can't change someone else's way of thinking, I can't make them apologize for something they do not see as wrong but I can change how I react and how I let it affect us.
  2014 will be another year of triumphs, defeats, love, memories, laughter, worry, hard times and lean times.....but that is life. And I fully intend to enjoy every second of it!! :)