Something I feel very strongly about...

  I urge everyone to watch this video. Man or woman. It's a very powerful video.
  At the end of the year we are not only facing a financial cliff but a moral one as well. If Congress fails to extend the VAWA (Violence Against Women Act) by the end of the year there will be no legal extended laws on the books to protect women in domestic violence situations. A lot of focus is on the financial side of what may be expiring but this is a serious law as well.
  As it stands the VAWA is a broad spectrum law. Congress is being urged to extend it's date as well as update it from it's basic 2005 writing and interpretations.
  Right this minute a woman is sitting on her couch on a reservation in the United States. That woman is as much a US citizen as you or I. But..she has no legal protection when it comes to domestic violence or rape. As an American Indian woman she can only prosecute a man if he is enrolled in her tribe or tribally  enrolled somewhere. A white man can rape and beat a Native woman(as her boyfriend or as a husband!)  and the US government has for years declined to have any jurisdiction. If the man is Native then tribal courts can prosecute him..if he is white then there is no status for prosecution as the tribe has no control over non members.
  The act is also important in that it provides coverage for same sex relationships. Whether a person agrees with a couple being of the same sex has no bearing on whether violence should be allowed or not. NO woman deserves to be hit or verbally abused.
  This law also covers all women living in the US to give them extended coverage and resources to get out of the situation. Once expired the law is off the books till voted on in another session. This simple law has helped crack down on abusers by allowing more evidence collection and for creating stiffer penalties for abusers.
  I myself have never been a victim of abuse and never saw it growing up. But I have many friends that have been on the receiving end of a beating or a verbal beating. I've seen them struggle with their own self esteem, with cops who told them "the bruises aren't dark enough I wouldn't file if I was you" while being made sit out in the front office of the police station with everyone watching. I've seen them say "Well he cried and said he was sorry. I can't lose my stuff just to leave him".  I've seen them have a miscarriage because the beating went too far. And I've seen men that saw that kind of violence as children and the affect it's had on them..many turning into completely opposite men while others not so much. Domestic violence doesn't just affect the woman..it trickles down to her children.
  But legislation alone (and only geared towards women...men are just as likely to be abused as women..it's just less likely a man will report it) cannot fix the problem. It takes raising our daughters to know their own strength, to know that they deserve to be treated with love,kindness and respect and not as a sex object. It takes raising our sons to be men, not merely grown boys. Teaching them to respect a woman, to remind them that every woman is someone's daughter. But it also takes teaching both boys and girls that a real relationship takes respect from both partners. When that time comes there will be no need for legislation. Rape will be an unheard of word. It won't be used in war or to control a woman or a situation. Domestic violence won't be that little pile of dirt that gets swept under the rug, hid under makeup and pretended to not be heard by neighbors. 

Awesome Saturday..and first day of Hanukkah

   Love Saturdays like today. Just the three of us took off and had breakfast out. Kaya loved it. We don't often go out just the three of us so it's a nice treat during the busy holiday season.
  After errands ran, bills paid (BOO lol), and movies rented we headed home for some indoor time due to the rain.
   We played Pretty Pony, played dolls, cleaned up the house some, and just had fun. Kaya's pick for her movie was a Halloween movie...imagine that...but it was pretty good. At the Henderson Hacienda it's always time for a Halloween show :)
   Kaya is also currently trying to hatch an "alien egg" she got from the Dollar Tree. After 3 days the egg is suppose to swell up and crack..and hatch an alien. She's pretty excited and checks the egg a lot! 
   This evening at sundown also started Hanukkah. Although we are not Jewish and we celebrate Christmas Kaya has always loved the story of Hanukkah, how the oil lasted 8 days and how it's called a Celebration of Lights. We always read the children's version every year. She also makes a dreidel every year. We normally make latkes and Sufganiyots...which Steve and Kaya made on Friday evening.  I think it's important for Kaya to know other cultures and traditions...and recipes are a great way to learn things.
   Kaya removed another link from her Christmas chain and is getting very excited over how short it's becoming :) Hard to believe how close it is to Christmas.
  Kaya also rented the children's version of Silent Night and we are going to watch it tomorrow. She is excited that it is the story of the 3 wise men and baby Jesus ;)
  Thinking tomorrows agenda will probably be cleaning house,lots of fun play (possible rain again tomorrow!)  etc as I start a seven day stretch on Monday :( Sooo I try to stretch the weekends out as long as possible!
 
    

I think...

The greatest thing she'd learned over the years is that there's no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one. --unknown       I think as women, as Moms, a lot of us would be better off to be honest. To cast aside the whole societal idea of what a "Mom" is, or looks like, or acts. One side fights against the other but at the end of the day..we are just Moms.     Working Moms are classified as career oriented, missing out on their kid(s) events and life, and selfish for working. They are seen as happy to be away from the home and that they get more "me" time and away time (when in reality most working Moms spend just as much time doing the same things as stay at homes...we just have to do it in less time in the evening after working on our feet for 9 hrs and thinking every minute of our kiddo being away from us). When in reality most Moms work not because they necessarily want to but HAVE to.  They carry the insurance, they may have a situation in the home that has either the Dad at home or both parents have to work, or they need the income. I can honestly say in our situation Steve is the stay at home Dad and I work. May not work for others but does for us.     Stay at home Moms get classified as sitting on the couch eating bonbons and watching the soaps. As being selfish for not using a college degree they may have earned or as being control freaks whose husbands have to earn the dough their wives spend. Or they are thought of as Suzy homemaker with the perfect life, attending all events and happy to be at home 24/7 and sacrifice their own time for their family only. When in reality stay at home Moms work just as hard as working Moms, have just as much responsibility and are just as important to their families as any other Mom. And they need their own time to grow as a person/as a woman/ as a Mom once in awhile.   At the end of the day we all tuck our kids in, kiss them and relish our blessings of a sweet child(dren) and a wonderful husband.   We as women have to start redefining how we are seen. I may work full time but it doesn't mean that I am a control freak. I may put supper on the table but doesn't mean I'm suddenly less of an independent woman. It just means that I have found a balance in my life and it's working for now. But life is meant to flex and to change..and you either move with it or you get squished!!    We also have to be honest with each other that our lives are distinctly our own. Not one single woman walking this earth is perfect. None of us have the perfect home, the perfect family. We have kids that get dirty, get in trouble and push the boundaries. They get sassy, refuse to eat their veggies and act out in public every once in awhile. We have husbands that at times tend to not fit into the "knight on a white horse" image. That makes us mad, that forgets to put their socks in the utility room, that lets the kids do something we may not like but we love them with all our hearts. We have inlaws that we'd like to bean from time to time but they gave us our awesome husbands and are important in lots of ways. And we have to cut ourselves some slack..as well as other women. Maybe that Mom in the store who's kid is screaming bloody murder isn't a bad Mom that lacks discipline for her kid...maybe she has a sick kiddo and is in a town far from home and has noone to watch him while she picks up medicine etc. We have to realize our kids are not suppose to be figuring out quantum science by the age of 2, speaking fluent Spanish by 3 or fitting into a peghole. Our kids can have one blue sock and one green sock...it's not the end of the world. We need to realize we as women nourish our children for 9 mo, then nourish them for many more months..and for a lifetime with love. We teach them kindness, love, respect, discipline,prayers. We give them routines and order. We need to be honest and let other women in our circle and our lives know we falter, we err but we are human and we are making our child's lives better. None of us parent the same or have the same lives. My city slicker friends may think we are nature loving hippies growing our own food/doing compost and taking a different route in life. Maybe I see at times my city friends as too focused on what others think, too focused on milestones instead of the memories, and living too hectic of a life. But if it works for them and they are happy...it's kosher with me :)   The definition of a good Mom is not where/how/ when she works, what she looks like or how she runs her home...it's in a well adjusted loving child!

Reminding myself

        Steve and I ventured out this evening to finish up Christmas shopping. We really only had the Angel tree child, the name Kaya drew for a family get together, a few odd n end small gifts and a few things for Kaya to finish. Work gave out a 20% off voucher this year so we decided to just get the shopping done lol I am not a big "hey lets go shop" person. Don't get me wrong I love to hang out with my best friends, window shop etc but I've never been a gung-ho shopper. And holiday shopping is very far down on my things I love to do list!
        I think my main issue with holiday shopping is watching people with overstuffed carts, frazzled out from lists/errands/wants gripe at the poor cashiers. The long lines. The drivers who drive like idiots. And people just being rude to each other.
      We are far from materialistic people. We try hard to instill in Kaya that you can always dream of things etc but you don't have to have some physical item purchased to make you happy. This year we decided we were breaking the holiday down to it's core. Going back to being simple, less focus on gifts, more focus on traditions/family time, and not stressing over things. We found gifts that others may have overlooked that would be perfect for someone on our list ..and we found them in unexpected places (such as a beautiful hand tatted shawl that my Grandma made that as soon as I saw it made me think Steve's cousin :) I know my Granny would love someone having it that would adore it and I've got lots of her goodies and would never use the shawl) or we made gifts (hand painted ornaments, a prayer box for another close relative etc) that we knew people would like. But I found myself watching others with their heaping carts of gifts, of just things..and thought "Man, it must be nice to do that."  Money has not been growing on trees this year lol with everything we've had going on. I felt that twinge of ...of something I couldn't quite put my finger on but I did NOT like feeling.
   Then I took a deep breath, stepped mentally out of the situation and refocused...on what was important. It's great that some can afford to drop insane amounts of money on gift items, fun items and junk groceries. If they have the money more power to them. If they don't have the money and are sidled with the feelings that they have to do those things to gain love, friends or to one up someone then I genuinely feel sorry for them. I've always said that a poor man looks at his rich neighbor and sees a fine house...while the rich man looks at the poor man and sees a HOME. May be a silly paradox but fitting.
    I think the holiday times can make people spend too foolhardy, can make them lose their sense of happiness because they allow to do lists, errands, family events and things they think they HAVE to do ruin their holiday. I try hard to step away from that stuff, keep our home lively and fun, and focus on family.
    So other than Steve feeling wore out after the shopping trip and being less than thrilled it's shot night...the trip was a success. Even got Kaya her traditional new pjs for Cmas eve :) All that is left is stocking stuffers for her. And since it's Friday we have a whole weekend of fun things ahead of us :) :)

                                           

Letter to Santa

     Kaya recited her letter to Santa to me tonight so we could get it ready to mail. She cracks me up and it's very hard to keep a straight face. You have to picture her sitting in the chair, finger tapping on her little chin, giving this letter alot of thought lol

   Dear Santa,
I am Kaya Rain. I am 4. I would like a toy horse and a glow in the dark toy you write on.
I love you Santa Clause. Because you smell like cherries.
And I also want a beautiful dragon, a giant toy dog, Ariel doll, a toy tiger named Tigey, a girl (ONLY) unicorn,and clothes with dogs on them.
Please bring Daddy a shock collar, Mommy and Uncle Jonus a big surprise,Mammaw Wade a beautiful blankie and a book. Bella needs a new blanket, Sheldon has a shell but could really use a new hat and Pheart would like a book about cats. 
Bring Aunt Judy a Cabbage Patch doll,Amanda a cool hairbrush, Jamie a hat, Crue Crue a dog toy, Chey a pet kitten, Little Stephen a football,Lynn a teddy bear  Mammaw Teresa a shock collar for Bandit so he won't jump on people, and please bring Uncle Mitch the bestest gift of all ---a black bathrobe.
Thank you Santa for everything you bring me. For all my family and friends please bring them a wonderful Christmas! 
   We are assuming she mentioned the shock collar (not sure whether to use on her Daddy or what! haha) because Steve was teasing his Mom the other day about her dogs needing one! Little minds remember lots!

   Kaya is always good in her letter to remember other family members and is quite creative on what she wants them to get. 

  We have also been discussing with her how this week we will be doing our angel tree kid. She's pretty excited about it. We explained to her that the little girl needed panties..which Kaya thought we meant she was running around with no panties on. Finally got her to understand she has panties just that she needed more. That not all kids are blessed with clothes etc. Then Kaya got it in her mind that the little girl must need panties because she has alot of accidents!!!! Her mind is always going!! So finally got her to understand that the little girl needed panties because she may only have 2 pairs and her parents cant afford to buy her more. Kaya got quiet and goes "Oh that is sad. I'm very lucky. I wish all kids could have lots and lots of panties". Sometimes the simplest thoughts speak the loudest!
  Steve has felt sorta blah this evening so we are taking it easy. Take out for supper..a nice treat around here lol...and Kaya did her letter. Going to finish up some handmade gifts and then take it easy this evening. It's only Tuesday but it's been a looonng week.

Fun Sunday!

   Ahhh has been a wonderfully relaxing weekend and a really good Sunday. We try hard to keep Sunday low key, family based and fun. Growing up Sunday with my family always meant a good meal at my Wade grandparents then over to the Roberts side in the evening for lots of playing with cousins etc. We may not have a house full every Sunday but I try to keep it fun for Kaya, make a good meal, and focus on us.
  This Sunday Kaya's feet hit the floor nice and early :) and she was ready to make salt dough ornaments. One of the easiest recipes I've ever seen and they made up wonderfully. Kaya had a blast mixing the dough, cutting out the shapes and then painting them. Once done we put string on them and hung them on the tree. I had to laugh at the conversations while making them: 

  
  Kaya: "Mamma, snow is always white unless it's yellow honey. Yellow snow (dropping her voice) means a dog has peed in it."
Kaya: "Mamma, what does this dough taste like (I say very salty)Hmmm so I do NOT want to feed it to Bella either to see if she likes it? (NOOO)
    She cracks me up with her observations and laughs.
  We also today did her hand print ornament. I was very happy with it and Steve was really impressed. 

   

  I put her name and year on it and it looks great on the tree. We even made several for some family members complete with the logo "Kaya's Kreations 2012" wrote on the bottom! Can't wait to give them out. I saw it on facebook/internet and really liked the idea behind it. Glad we gave it a go :)
   Made a roast in the crockpot complete with carrots (even though Kaya has to have hers raw) and then shredded the roast into brown gravy and simmered it. Served with the carrots, cottage cheese and a bake potato. Got two thumbs up all around!
   Best thing today: Kaya told us "I've had a great weekend with you and Daddy. I love you both alot. You guys are my bestest friends." She's been in a huggy, kissy sweet mood all day! I won't complain :) :)

  Ahhh yes Saturday. I love Saturdays. Kaya loves Saturdays. Steve loves Saturdays lol As long as it's my Saturday off :)
   Has been a fabulous day around here. Very odd December weather. Warm enough you barely need a jacket! Not too many days in December can be spent playing on the trampoline and in the garden with just a light jacket on! So we took full advantage of it.
  First off was Kaya's pictures. To say she did awesome is an understatement. We didn't do fancy dress or anything like that. Jeans, star sneakers, white tank with a button up black shirt over it and curly pigtails. She did pick out her own jewelry (pretty necklace and bracelet). It was very hard to take in the fact that she is cruising toward the big 5! My little baby isn't so little anymore.
  The photographer did awesome and it was hard to narrow down the pics. Thanks to an excellent coupon and a good discount holiday deal we got enough pics and also got a free five picture collage. When I can see them online I will have to share them :) I teared up too when she had her Cmas picture taken with her doll Uncle Jonus had shipped to her. She picked it out on her own for the pictures today and I thought it was a sweet touch.
  Rest of our awesome Saturday has been spent outdoors. Tree on the front porch is now decorated, porch railings are done, icicle lights are up. Feels pretty festive and Kaya loves the lights.
  Hate that Steve feels tired this evening. His shot last night often makes him feel draggy the next day. But he's always a trooper and not only hung lights but cleaned the gutters :) 
  Kaya fell asleep way early on us this evening, even before supper was done, but she's been up and going since 7am and she plays HARD! Hoping she either sleeps the whole night through or I may have to wake her in an hour so she will sleep later tonight. (She's not the sweetest kid when you have to wake her up..IF you can get her up LOL)
   I do love Saturdays :) :)

 Picture is of the same tree lol The one on the left shows the ornaments better..one on the right shows the lights lol Oh and Kaya's santa sitting in a wagon LOL