With your child you realize quickly that you either battle over every little thing or you realize that your child is not a mini me. She will have different ideas, different outlooks on life and different ways of doing things. My job is to guide her to be the best she can be, to be happy and to be moral and just..but not to be me identically. My Mom always said "Hair can be undyed, grown out and cut. Life is too short to focus on the small battles when big battles exist right around the corner. Build a foundation of trust and stability with your children over the little battles and when times comes for the big battles they may see things more your way." Mom never stressed if Jonus cut his hair into a mohawk, dyed it green or when he got a libre piercing. In turn I can say that when the big fights in life came up...staying out late, doing things he shouldn't have...he was more apt to see Mom's side of the argument because he knew if Mom was standing up about something..it had to be serious. So I try to keep that in mind with my own kid. Not always easy when you think "Why do you not do it the way I do it???"...but that is life.
With your husband you realize that you are blending two lives together. You cannot make him into you or you into him. You married him because you love him for him..for his quirks and his whole self. In turn he married you for the same reason. Once married you find out that he leaves his dirty clothes in the closet floor, seems to forget his cereal bowls under the computer desk and has a tendency to leave the screen open on the front door with the ac on (LMBO...all my little pet peeves lol) but in the big picture : he gathers up his dishes and does the dishes without griping, he lets me sit the ac in the bedroom to how I like it even if he's freezing, and he does laundry from time to time. So why waste happy time fighting over little battles. I may be right (and lets face it women..wives are always right LMBO j/k j/k) but there are things he is right on about me that he lets go. Yes, I have to tuck the blankets under my feet every night pulling all the blanket loose, I have to have the toilet paper roll turned paper over the top, I can't stand things not in the exact spot I've always had them lmbo but he loves me for all of me. So I pick my battles wisely.
With family this has been a big issue. I've learned I cannot make them change if they see nothing wrong, I cannot make them fix things they think are not broken, I cannot make them NOT ignore us or treat us differently. I cannot make them stop thinking selfishly only of themselves or their issues. All I can do is know in my heart and soul I am trying to do the right things by my little family and that I treat everyone the same. I can battle on and on or I can have my peace..and let them live their life and pay the consequences. Sowing a bitter, selfish seed will make you reap a bitter, bad crop. But it's their crop NOT mine. So I let it go. I don't lose myself, I don't fight and do the drama. I speak my peace and live my life. If they go months (which one had went nearly a month..texted Steve but hadn't spoke to me) without speaking or seeing us..or realize that they have only saw Kaya twice the whole year..then they can deal with it. I cannot control others but I can control myself. I will not allow their chaos, their unhappiness to spill into my life :)
True peace isn't perfection and complete control and stillness. It's having a happy heart and soul, being content with what you have and where you are and realizing today may be some stress but you can deal with it and move on. It's knowing that you strive for better no matter what but at the end of the day life is GOOD!!!
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