I think...

The greatest thing she'd learned over the years is that there's no way to be a perfect mother, but a million ways to be a good one. --unknown       I think as women, as Moms, a lot of us would be better off to be honest. To cast aside the whole societal idea of what a "Mom" is, or looks like, or acts. One side fights against the other but at the end of the day..we are just Moms.     Working Moms are classified as career oriented, missing out on their kid(s) events and life, and selfish for working. They are seen as happy to be away from the home and that they get more "me" time and away time (when in reality most working Moms spend just as much time doing the same things as stay at homes...we just have to do it in less time in the evening after working on our feet for 9 hrs and thinking every minute of our kiddo being away from us). When in reality most Moms work not because they necessarily want to but HAVE to.  They carry the insurance, they may have a situation in the home that has either the Dad at home or both parents have to work, or they need the income. I can honestly say in our situation Steve is the stay at home Dad and I work. May not work for others but does for us.     Stay at home Moms get classified as sitting on the couch eating bonbons and watching the soaps. As being selfish for not using a college degree they may have earned or as being control freaks whose husbands have to earn the dough their wives spend. Or they are thought of as Suzy homemaker with the perfect life, attending all events and happy to be at home 24/7 and sacrifice their own time for their family only. When in reality stay at home Moms work just as hard as working Moms, have just as much responsibility and are just as important to their families as any other Mom. And they need their own time to grow as a person/as a woman/ as a Mom once in awhile.   At the end of the day we all tuck our kids in, kiss them and relish our blessings of a sweet child(dren) and a wonderful husband.   We as women have to start redefining how we are seen. I may work full time but it doesn't mean that I am a control freak. I may put supper on the table but doesn't mean I'm suddenly less of an independent woman. It just means that I have found a balance in my life and it's working for now. But life is meant to flex and to change..and you either move with it or you get squished!!    We also have to be honest with each other that our lives are distinctly our own. Not one single woman walking this earth is perfect. None of us have the perfect home, the perfect family. We have kids that get dirty, get in trouble and push the boundaries. They get sassy, refuse to eat their veggies and act out in public every once in awhile. We have husbands that at times tend to not fit into the "knight on a white horse" image. That makes us mad, that forgets to put their socks in the utility room, that lets the kids do something we may not like but we love them with all our hearts. We have inlaws that we'd like to bean from time to time but they gave us our awesome husbands and are important in lots of ways. And we have to cut ourselves some slack..as well as other women. Maybe that Mom in the store who's kid is screaming bloody murder isn't a bad Mom that lacks discipline for her kid...maybe she has a sick kiddo and is in a town far from home and has noone to watch him while she picks up medicine etc. We have to realize our kids are not suppose to be figuring out quantum science by the age of 2, speaking fluent Spanish by 3 or fitting into a peghole. Our kids can have one blue sock and one green sock...it's not the end of the world. We need to realize we as women nourish our children for 9 mo, then nourish them for many more months..and for a lifetime with love. We teach them kindness, love, respect, discipline,prayers. We give them routines and order. We need to be honest and let other women in our circle and our lives know we falter, we err but we are human and we are making our child's lives better. None of us parent the same or have the same lives. My city slicker friends may think we are nature loving hippies growing our own food/doing compost and taking a different route in life. Maybe I see at times my city friends as too focused on what others think, too focused on milestones instead of the memories, and living too hectic of a life. But if it works for them and they are happy...it's kosher with me :)   The definition of a good Mom is not where/how/ when she works, what she looks like or how she runs her home...it's in a well adjusted loving child!