AHA moments

 Today was one of those AHA days. When something just clicks, feelings fall into place and life..happens.
  Was very excitedly texting Kaya's picture missing her tooth to close family. Not that many just the few that I knew would care. Bam...one person that I thought would be happy to see the pic responded back with a not mean message but one that sorta stung me.
  Bam like that it stung. It made me boiling mad. To the mere observer it would seem as no big deal. Person loves you and loves Kaya but something isn't just right. True enough. Rewind though to 2 weeks ago when someone was at my house visiting and their cell phone went off multiple times from THIS person texting to see what they were having for supper, was they still having blah bblah blah...if you can waste text on that but you can't waste your minutes on Kaya?
  I've been holding back on that feeling that Kaya is getting pushed back and ignored. I looked at our Facebook posts and said person comments on a nature pic, on political posts or likes them but in a good 5 months they have not commented ONE time on a picture of Kaya and barely on any statuses dealing with Kaya.
  I could feel the tears working at the corners of my eyes. I could feel the anger. Then it hit me when Kaya smiled as she was swinging and said "Mamma..we are one haaaaapppy family. I love you and Daddy."
  Boom like that happiness and the realization that we are a happy family. Maybe that text came to show me that people can love but not have the time they should for others. I've dealt with that alot in the last year. I can tell people that are very close to Steve that he is so tired he cannot get out of bed, I'm on a 7 day stretch etc..and not one offer of anything. Not that I want an offer. Then it's tossed out that I'm too strong and independent and I have changed??????
   I sat and watched my kiddo laughing and having fun and realized that we are never going to be that peg that fits perfectly in anyone's slot. We are not a typical family in the sense that we have four members...Kaya, me, Steve and MS. MS is often there whether we invite it to the table or not so we've learned how to adjust to our always there guest lol But we are also different from some because we are content. We see the joy in small things that some in this family are overlooking. We find that we can be content with what we have and who we are. That we don't have to become religious around Group A, non political around Group B and lie to Group C to save face. We are just us.
    I've realized in this deal I cannot fix anyone and I cannot make them change how they see things, how they feel things or how they handle things. But I do NOT have to let it infringe anymore.
  I've let go of alot of issues...no extended family time, no consideration to others...and now I'm going to let go of this. Not because I think they are right but because my heart cannot take anymore. Kaya doesn't feel left out since we sat her down and said as long as you are loved you have to accept people in the form they are. That we cannot make family members come to events, ask how we are or be what we want them to be..we have to love them for who they are but continue our life how we see fit.
  Mamma bears protect their young and protect their family/home and that is what I am doing. I no longer am sitting and figuring things out and I am no longer allowing myself to hurt over their lack of caring and ignorance.
  Do I love them? Yep. Will I still associate, be on Facebook, be friends with them? Yep. But I no longer leave my heart open to that ability to be hurt and I'm shutting that gate before it affects Kaya. Hurt people pass on the pain they've felt for years and IT WILL NOT BE PASSED FROM THEM TO KAYA!!!
  Sooo to be honest I will not text that individual again. Steve said even if he is in the hospital or not well or if something happens with Kaya or me...they can call us or email us. I am not to keep them in a loop they do not want to be in.
   One thing I do every single day is tell Kaya she is loved and that  I love Steve. They say the same thing. It's a common , heart felt phrase in this house. Tomorrow isn't promised and today has no guarantee. In a heart beat life can change..and be altered forever. I don't want the people I love to wonder. I will live my life so I go to sleep every night with a good heart. Others can start finding their own path.