Life has a way at times of stopping you dead in your tracks and making you appreciate what you have. On my day off Wednesday we headed for a fave park to play. Noticed a guy there with a notebook and a little boy playing but it wasn't our business so we didn't ask. Just let Kaya have fun swinging with the little boy. You could tell the boy had some social issues and behavioral issues but on the whole nice little boy, adorable little glasses and he played well with Kaya. Notebook guy called someone on his cell phone and said "The mom is late for a supervised visitation. I'll go ahead and stay and wait only because she did call". Then we noticed the notebook guy was actually a court mediator through CPS (via the badge he had on). We continued to let Kaya play with the boy.
In pulls a car and when the lady stepped out the boy ran screaming into the covered slide. We told Kaya to come play with us but it struck me that the little boy didn't run TO his Mom he ran FROM his Mom!!
After a few minutes of the woman finally getting the boy to come to her she hugged on him and then "played Mom"....giving him rules and then saying at least 1 million times "I love you. I love you". The boy never once replied it back to her. The little boy came up to Kaya and said "It's my birthday today.". Kaya immediately put her arms out and said "You really look like you need a hug. Everyone should have a hug on their birthday". They hugged and then went to playing.
The woman had the boy go to a picnic table but he wouldn't stay there. Finally he came up to us and Kaya and asked "Can you please sit with me and have cake and ice cream. It's my bday party". There was only his Mom, her friend, her kid and the CPS worker for this poor kid's bday party. Normally we don't do such things but the child's face...killed me. So we sat with Kaya at the party while she had a bowl of icecream. The kid's Mom had to force her way between the little boy and Kaya and as soon as the gift was open he was on the swings with Kaya. I noticed the CPS worker saying that the boy's grandma had packed him a juice box etc.
The whole deal broke my heart, humbled me and made me hug my own child closer. I'm not judgmental and I don't know the ladies path in life. She could have been a drug addict, abused her child, a recovering addict, had a violent marriage/divorce who knows. All I can hope is that for her and her child she puts both feet forward and makes efforts to become a Mom. I'm thankful the child has a grandparent that is taking him in and taking care of him...but to watch a child and their parent interact with NO bond at the tender age of 5 killed me. I am constantly with, thinking of or doing for my child. She's 5 as well and we snuggle, laugh and are together every second we can be.
As a mother and a woman I was struggling to NOT cry. I wanted to put him in our backseat and drive off with him...give him stability, love and stop his visitations where parents get to "prove" they are parents or put on a show.
In the Jeep Kaya told me "Mamma, that little boy needed my hug". That was all she said. Tremendously strong words about a strong subject...brought down to the core. All that little boy needed was my hug..........
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