Well 2011 is in full swing and so far…its been good. I don’t personally believe in resolutions..simply because people make them,stress over keeping them, then break them and stress because they have broke them. I try to live every day to the fullest..and to the best of my ability.
A wise man once told me “Have you been shot at today? Have you had to watch every step you take for an IED? Then you are indeed having a good day” Of course it came from my little brother but its pretty good advice. We tend to take ourselves way too seriously and let little things build up. Or at least I do. I have a tendency to ride myself hard and I want to let that go a little bit this year and just have the confidence to know that I am indeed a good Mom and raising Kaya to be herself. No two kids are alike and no two kids can be measured against each other and the same goes for Moms. Instead of letting things weigh me down..I think I’ve found my little place in the world…and..I ..am …happy.
I sometimes beat myself up because I have to work. …but..I am trying hard to think that I am instilling a sense in Kaya that a woman can be a Mom,do house/family stuff and work. Is it always easy? NO but it works in our lives. Steve once told me that yes I work outside the home but I spend more time with Kaya than a lot of mothers spend with their kids..and..that I make our time together fun, educational ..and most of all Kaya feels and knows she is loved.
I think most importantly I want to be not only a good Mom to Kaya but I want her to be herself. I don’t want her to ever doubt my love,my faith in her or my love in Steve. I want her to know no matter what life has in store for her…even if down the road I may not approve of what she does …that I will genuinely love her for her. I think my best role model for that is my Mom. No matter what we did or what we wanted to do..Mom found the positive in it and stood behind us. If she didn’t approve she would say so..but she always finished the sentence with “I love you”. Mom has seen both of us kids do what we wanted with our lives..and she has always been there.
Maybe I’ve found that spot in life that is just “right”…I don’t know. I genuinely love my life. Yep, I have rough days (who doesn’t) but..I have a beautiful daughter that is the light of our lives and that I would die for…and..I have a husband that I would go to the end of the earth for (and vice versa), who loves me unconditionally, and has always been my rock and my shoulder. I have true friends that I love …I have good family that I couldn’t live without….I have a home, a job,food in the pantry and we can pay our bills…not much more in life a woman could want. And..if tomorrow all the material things were to disappear..I would still be one of the most blessed people I know….for Id have my Kaya,my hubby and my family and friends.
So here is to 2011…may it be prosperous,full of love and family and happiness…
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